The Song Of An Empty Sky

Your inner being is nothing but the inner sky.

Clouds come and go,
Planets are born and disappear,
Stars arise and die.
But the inner sky remains the same,
solid, untouched, untarnished, unscarred.

Go in, and enjoy your inner sky.
Remember whatsoever you see, you are not it.
You think, but you are not your mind;

You sense, but you are not your heart;
You feel, but you are not your body;
You dream, desire, believe, imagine, project.

But you are nothing, nothing and all.

You are the alpha and the omega.
The beginning and the end.
Go now,  and eliminate all that you can see.
‘Till you witness the vast enlightened sky,

The most beautiful sight to behold
When there is nothing left to obscure the night.
The inner sky becomes crystal clear,
For any awakened man to see.

All the clouds have disappeared and only the view remains.
The view of the empty sky.
To know this is to be fearless, and to know this is to be full of love.
To know it is to be immortal, is to be awake.

Now stare in your mind and clear your inner sky.
Awaken the giant within.

Osho – Inner Sky (Edited)

Origin Of My Gaming Addiction

I’ve been thinking about writing about this for quite some time now and I’ve finally decided to share my experiences with video games and gaming in general. So here it goes…

It started out when I was ten years old and my parents bought me a PlayStation one, I couldn’t be more thrilled to play this. It is were I started to create a habit which would later become an addiction, what I didn’t realize at that time. I just thought I was a really fun and entertaining experience that couldn’t hurt at all.

As time went on and I grew older I bought a PlayStation 2 were I spent most of my free time on. Games like Gta san andreas, resident evil 4, ratchet and clank, god of war, shadow of the colossus, and many many more. I played over 4 hours a day at minimum then.

My addiction reached it’s climax when I was 16. I got the PlayStation 3 eventually and trough online access and multiplayer games it became even worse. I played around 6 hours minimum each day!. I played games like GTA IV, red faction guerilla, motorstorm, battlefield, the elder scrolls. And off course the biggest of all; call of duty modern warfare 2. I got over a month of in-game playing time in that game alone. I looked like I hadn’t slept for over two weeks, was pale as day and pretty much didn’t carefor my overall health. Here’s a picture of me;

Before (Zombie-mode)                                                                                                    After 

My PSN Gamercards;

–> http://psnprofiles.com/DarkStarz_

–> http://psnprofiles.com/IDark_Starz_

At those times I barely went out and my social skills were pretty lacking. I’ve hadn’t kissed a girl and knew inside me that this wasn’t the way I wanted to spent the rest of my life. I still was in good shape as I admired the heroes in the video games and wanted to be strong and healthy just like they were.

Change

I wanted this all to change! I became furious with myself and put my console on the attic but I didn’t have the discipline to stay away from it. I decided to find something else to concentrate myself on. I picked up fitness and weightlifting which was by FAR the BEST choice I have ever made in my life. I became stronger and saw results but was still spending way to much time on video games.

I become confident trough my training and got my first serious relationship at age 18. I still didn’t have much of a social life besides my girlfriend and didn’t really know what to do with my life. I was wandering aimlessly trough life which made me depressed.

I started reading books on self development and really focusing more on my hobby which later became my passion :) I started studying sport and made an active decision not to bring my ps3 to my dorm room. Butt off course I couldn’t help it but download other pc games for my laptop and play those when I had free time.

Until recently I’ve decided that life itself is scarce, I’m getting older by the day and I still want to experience so many more things in life and frankly video games aren’t bringing me any closer to my dreams.They are temporary distractions so I can continue my aimless existence. About three months ago I’ve made the decision to stop playing video games and actually start fucking taking control of my life!

By all standards I’ve had a unhealthy relationship with video games and would like to share some key tips in dealing with video games addictions. Even if you just play video games for relaxation, I still think it is best to quit completely.

Video games provide what you lack in real life and give you a feeling of satisfaction in many ways.

Here is a list of the thing video games give and more importantly, what they take away from you;

Achievement

Video games are based on completing levels and overcoming challenges which are rewarded by better gear, upgrades, experience points,.. . But ultimately you make no real progress at all. Everything in the game is just one big illusion. The ranks, levels, trophies, power, whatever, it doesn’t mean SHIT. You just think it does. At the end of a 6 hour gaming session were you stop because it is getting early in the morning and you haven’t slept yet, you have accomplished nothing!  My life wasn’t that fulfilling at that time since I had nothing to really live for. I didn’t know what direction I was going but still was able to get instant gratification from these games.

Importance

The whole world in the game is based around you, the protagonist. You are the star in the game and all the attention is aimed at you. You get to be someone who you are not, because you don’t really like who you are. You run away in fiction to escape from reality. In video games everyone likes you, wants to help you and wants to join in your missions. It isn’t real.

Clarity

Video games have structure and clear objectives to achieve. You know what direction you are going and why. Video games have a simulated purpose but also give you the freedom to do what you want. Sometimes they even become a second reality. You connect on deeper level with the character in the game then with who you really are. A reason why I played games is because I didn’t know what direction I wanted to go and these games gave me a false sense of purpose.

Escape

Video games make you able to do things you aren’t capable of in real life. Like flying, magic, shooting, extreme sports, huge epic battles. They give you surreal experiences which stand out above the dull and boring experiences you have everyday in real life. But it can be different if you spent more time in finding out the things you like and actually pursuing those.

How do I Quit?

#1) Pick up a New Hobby

(painting, drawing, writing, sports, creating, cooking, anything else, something that requires a real life skill, something you can do anywhere and you actually enjoy doing. If you can’t seem to find anything, look back at your childhood. At childhood we are deeply connected to who we are and instinctively do what we love to do. So this might lead you to new forms of entertainment or even hidden passions. In my case it was drawing, poems and crafts)

#2) Sell, destroy or remove console

Sell it, destroy it or remove it where you cannot get to it without help from someone else (store it in somebody else’s house), quit cold turkey. None of that “one hour a day” bullshit. Cause you will be wanting it even more if you keep tempting yourself)

#3) Disconnect

You’ll want to watch videos about video games and download new ones. Get a site blocker and delete any game you have remaining on your pc, doesn’t matter how much it once cost.

#4) Read Books.

Find new, real things you like and challenge yourself on a daily basis to reach a form of higher existence)

#5) Go out

Meet new people. Humans are social creatures and long for mental survival. even if it scares you. It is better to try something new and fail than not trying at all. All experience gained leads to a fulfilling live, good as bad experience.

#6 Get a reminder

Get a reminder where you can see it everyday. Remind yourself you are wasting valuable time you could be spending to build a better life.

“In the end our state is the manifestation of our minds. If we can change our mind, we change our life.

Update:
I’ve actually written an updated Ebook on “How To Quit Video Games“. If you’re interested in learning more about this topic or to know more about my story, send me a message. I’ll give you a free review copy of the book
– 16/08/2014

Essence

What I want you to take away from my experience is the fact that your life is pretty goddamn short. Don’t spend it on things that won’t give you a lasting sense of fulfillment and take conscious note of the direction you are heading in life.
So pretty much: Don’t be stupid, take control and kick-ass.

Anyway, I hope my story has made you see how destructive your gaming addiction can be and how you can fix it. If you’re having any thoughts or questions on this topic, feel free to share those with me in the comment section below. Take care!

Love

Simon,

Review

I’ve just starting to read this book about oxygen therapy and the “many benefits” it has. I’ve read it in full and have
applied the steps but it didn’t cure my candida infection (reason why I started reading it).Basically the book says that no disease can survive in an oxygenated environment. And therefore the cure to all diseases is to flood the body with oxygen. This can be done by either consuming food grade hydrogen peroxide (H2O2) Or ozon (O3).I’ve tried the H202 solution for 25 days as the book suggested but didn’t see/notice any significant changes. (Maybe a small energy boost, but I’d rather contribute that to a placebo effect caused by their excellent marketing and grand claims ;))

Idea

The book has however introduced me to some new ideas about the pharmaceutical industry is. Basically, the book says that the pharmaceutical industry only aims to make the most amount of profit as possible and therefore they place people secondary.

They are making huge amounts of money these days (think billions) yet people are sicker than ever (depressions, obesity, stress,…) The book claims that the cause is that these companies don’t want you to get better, if you get better they lose a customer so to speak.

Truth?

I believe some truthcan be found in this statement but we shouldn’t solely focus on the negative side. The pharmaceutical industry has helped millions of people around the world to combat illnesses. However, I do agree that it is a very lucrative business and that this kind of power can easy lead to greediness. For instance, some medicationare used to relieve your symptoms by using an (often overpriced) “quick fix” instead of focusing on the underlying problem. I’ve stumbled upon this awesome quote which defines a “good” doctor;

“The superior doctor prevents sickness; The mediocre doctor attends to impending sickness; The inferior doctor treats actual sickness;”

Essence

The best way (IMO) to deal with pharmaceutical pills and treatments is to be very conscious about what you exactly put into your body. Do you really need a pill or are there other factors that have caused your illness (and that you can cure yourself?) Depression, stress, sleeping problems and obesity often don’t need any medication but a change in lifestyle. Take a look at your diet and exercise habits and you’ll be able to find some of the caused in there. Anyway, if you have any thoughts or questions on this book that you would like to share with me. Feel free to leave those in the comment section below.
Take care !

Love

Simon

Art

Recently I stumbled upon this very talented artist who creates paintings which symbolize various metaphors. You should definitely check Vladimir Kush out on his website!

He has many beautiful and above all very interesting paintings.

Here’s a little introduction video to his work;

 

*Update 05/04/2014* I was wondering about ‘improving’ this post to meet my current blogging standards but I’ve decided I’m going to keep this one in its original state to preserve the authenticity of my first leap of faith.

I write this blog because of a dream I had last night. One that woke me up with cold sweat going down my spine. But before I tell you the dream I’ll have to share a story about my recent break-up. Where to begin? It started as most relationships do, we were madly in love. Enjoying every moment we spent together and never worried about anything. She was my first serious relationship and introduced me to everything love had to offer. But as time went on I grew a feeling of emptiness in my head. I didn’t know the reason that caused this but it always seemed to happen when I was around her for a long period of time. Although we had a great time together we never did things that were constructive (always watching tv, playing games,…) and these times robbed me of my creativity which made me feel empty. So one day I had enough and said to her; I need to discover my purpose and meaning and I can’t do that with you claiming so much of my time and creativity. I felt like If i stayed I would never be happy and would never find the things that would give my life a sense of purpose (like passions, traveling, crazy extreme sports, exploring my interests and desires) She was heart broken, and so was I. But I felt I needed the time to re-discover myself. I was at a crossroad in my life where I was taking the wrong direction to happiness.

We didn’t text or called anymore and I tried to forget about her scent, her smile, her mannerisms, her touch and her kisses. Laying alone at night in my bed made me feel so hollow and alone. And I could only  blame myself. Sometimes I think about different situations where I would have talked to her about how I felt but at the time I was confused and thought leaving would give me the answers I desperately needed. So as time went on I did the necessary steps to move on;

1) Accept it’s over

2) Delete and disconnect (no contact, memories, pictures whatsoever)

3) Grief (cry, express, get angry, do whatever it takes)

4) Focus on yourself and reclaim your life (get a new interest/hobby)

5) Learn from it & meet new people (You CAN recreate the feeling you had with her with someone else).

So onto the dream I had last night. I don’t recall a whole lot about it but the essence changed something in me. So I was on this vacation with my family and everything was great. The sun was shining and the birds flew to trees at the beach while the scent of fresh baked bread filled the air. The waves massaged the beach in a rhythmic manner. Suddenly in the distance I see my ex with someone else. A blonde guy that makes her smile while lifting her trough the air and just having fun in the water. I don’t think she has seen me but she actually sends pictures of her with her new boyfriend to my cellphone. And then from a distance she would just smile at me. Just smile at me while she is hugging her new boyfriend. It changed something in me

Why would my mind torture me like that? It has been three weeks since our last contact and I still think about her daily. I just miss the moments we had together and she never gave me a last chance to explain myself. I destroyed her heart and it is hard to move on knowing that. Because I know I’m a good man. There’s so much more I could write about this and think about different outcomes but they would make things more difficult. It is time to move on and start meeting new people. I’m on my way discovering what I truly want and I couldn’t make her nor myself happy at that time.

Since we broke up my life started to speed up dramatically. I started discovering new things, exploring new interests, changing the way I think for the better but above all I’m figuring out who I really am. I’m confident I will find someone to give my love to and share my ideas in this adventure we call life. I’m on the verge of waking up.