“A Person Is Limited Only To The Thoughts That He Chooses” – James Allen

 

Thoughts become reality.

That’s pretty much the summary of this blogpost. (yeah, thanks for coming eh! ;))

Usually, we let our life be defined by fluffcrap (That’s a word from now-on) that enters our head trough negative people & media that add NOTHING of value.

ZERO (IMO, That’s not that much )

We INSIST on believing that we’re not good enough.
We INSIST on believing that we’re bound to fail.
We INSIST to place others above us. 

Therefore we INSIST on destroying our own lives. We simply choose it by default since we’re conditioned this way.

I encourage everyone to challenge this conditioning by visualization techniques

———————————————————

Our life is shaped by the vision we harbor in our mind. Every creation – no matter how big or small – originated in the mind.

“Good thoughts bear good fruits & bad thoughts bear bad fruits. See yourself as the gardener of your own mind.”

Have you planted bad seeds in your head or do you consciously cultivate supportive seeds that will flower into the life you’re looking for?

Many people (read: almost everyone) doesn’t recognize this, since we’re constantly bombarded with so much crap that we can’t see what’s bringing us down anymore. Therefore it’s essential to take some time every day to weed out the bad and nourish the good.

I’ve touched upon this topic in an earlier post on “How To Re-Program Your Brain”

What Is Visualization?

“The formation of mental images” is the most accurate way I’m able to describe it.

How does it work?

Our brains work in weird ways (more than I’ll ever comprehend probably) But for the purpose of this post I’ll limit myself to visualization;

Visualization has two awesome, practical applications;

1. Changing perception
2. Increasing performance

Changing Perception

Our world is based upon how we perceive it. We don’t respond to factual knowledge but to our interpretation of that knowledge.

Huh, How so? I’m sure I don’t!

When considering a football-game. There’s always two teams playing against each other and therefore you also (mostly) have two crowds of supporters. Imagine this scenario: one team is winning and the other is losing pretty badly. The supporters of the first team are most likely ecstatic whilst the others are probably disappointed or even angry.

See the point I’m trying to make here?

It’s a very simple example: They are both watching the exact same game yet react differently. This might seem obvious if you haven’t given it second thought yet clearly proves that we most often react to our perception of reality (subjective) and not the actual reality (objective)

This is can also be found in several optical illusions;

You can look at the exact same image yet derive two entirely different conclusions (read: facts) of them, based on your perception.

Perception is everything.

Yeah yeah, all fun and games Simon. But what’s the practical application of this stuff? I don’t really care about stupid football games nor pretty pictures..

 

Application?

Changing your perception is critically important in generating self-image & optimism. Perception can literally make or break your life.

What perception do you have when you Face The Man In The Mirror?

What perception do you have when you look at your life?

Increasing Performance

Additionally, we also have skills and talents that can simply be developed without physical practice! Rehearsal in the mind tends to lead to the same benefits as actual practice

“What kind of black-magic is this?”

 

Research Quarterly ran an experiment on the effects of mental practice on performance in basketball;

Therefore Maxwell Maltz came to the conclusion in his book “Psycho-Cybernetics” that;

“Experimental and clinical psychologists have proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that the human nervous system cannot tell the difference between an “actual” experience and an experience imagined vividly and in detail.”

> Get The First 95 Pages Free! <

Conclusion?

“You act and feel not according to what things are really like but of the image your mind holds of what things are like.”

 

Also known as the “Thomas Theorem

Trough visualization we’re able to change the perception of ourselves (like I talked about before), the perception of the world around us and rehearse (and practice) skills we want to excel at. This, in turn defines our self-esteem, behavior/performance and overall happiness.

Now THAT is a bit more interesting eh?

Things it has done for me;

• Improved social relationships (dramatically)
• Shaping of my body
• Staying positive & engaged
• Increasing confidence
• Increasing performance in writing, reading, training and social skills

And it can do all of this for you too. I’m no exception.

Shaping your thoughts trough visualization is the absolute foundation of creating yourself.

How Should I Visualize?

Alright, let’s get practical now. I’ll share three different visualization techniques in the exercises below.

First up;

1. Get comfortable (but stay awake)
2. Set a timer for 10 to 20 minutes.
3. You can add some music if you like  (Recommendation)
4. Slow down your breath by inhaling for 5 seconds, holding it for 5 seconds and then releasing it for 5 seconds again. Repeat this 5 times.
5. Now close your eyes.

Imagine yourself floating out of your body to the back-row of an empty cinema. On the screen you’ll mentally rehearse different scenarios according to the result you’re looking for;

Alright, sit back; The movies is starting! Enjoy the ride..

Movie 1 (Reaching Goals)

Vividly and in detail imagine yourself in your current situation. Got that image? (this shouldn’t be too hard)

Good! Now visualize your desired situation,

Now vividly imagine how you’re going to fill the gap between your current situation and your desired situation. Focus on the process required. Visualize it as vividly and in detail as possible.

Many people just visualize the end result whilst that has (mostly) no effect.

You should visualize (and by the same rule, act) on the process that’s necessary reach your goal.

• Don’t imagine money. Imagine how you’re going to make the money.
• Don’t imagine yourself in a great physique. Imagine the process required to attain that physique.
• …

If you’re familiar with the Law Of Attraction you’ll realize (or do so now) that just “thinking about it” isn’t going to change one thing in your life. By imaging and acting upon the process required you’re able to get the results you’re looking for

Movie 2 (Improving at any skill)

By the same account, you can picture yourself performing a skill you want to improve in (just like the basketball throws I talked about earlier). Again, process over end-result.

Repeat as vividly and in-detail as possible, as much as possible.

Movie 3 (Improving Self-Esteem)

Lastly, but certainly not least is the art (yes, I’ve found it to be THAT effective) of self-visualization. Imagine your ultimate self EVERY SINGLE DAY.

How would your ultimate self walk, talk, behave, interact, work and perform? Imagine every single detail and watch how your mind adopts this blueprint until it becomes automatic.

Until it becomes real. (It’s actually cool to see how people in your surroundings pick this up)

Perform this whenever necessary and condition it until it becomes firmer and firmer (and eventually you’ll auto-generate these conditions for yourself)

Because let’s face it. There’s only two options you can take;

1. Let you life be defined by your own self-created bullshit and fall into depression (Since what benefits do disempowering beliefs give you anyway? Answer: NONE)
2. Take Control Of Your Own Thoughts

“Act like a king to be treated as one”

Essence

Over time our heads get filled with so much negative fluffcrap (héhé) that we can hardly distinguish original thought from the crap we absorb by our surroundings.

What visualization allows you to do is take a step back from what you believe is true and create for yourself the image of what you want to be true. Since our minds act on suggested perceptions we’ll be able to change our-self, our performance and our happiness.

Note that this will take some time. Like I stated in my post on “How To Destroy Limiting Beliefs” it takes on average 66 days to replace our old perception with our new self-suggested images. So keep practicing consistently with the three exercises I’ve mentioned above and eventually they will become real.

Quick re-cap;

• Visualize your ultimate self EVERY SINGLE DAY (preferably during your morning ritual)
• Visualize ANY skill you want to excel at.
• Visualize the process required to reach your goals! (This will also help you define the next step you’ll need to take)
• Read “As A Man Thinketh” and “Psycho-Cybernetics“

Leaves me with one more question;

“What are you going to use these visualization techniques for?“

——————————————

If you feel like this post can help anyone out that you know, feel free to share it with your friends or send it in a mail to your mom! It helps me out a lot! If you’re having any thoughts or questions on this topic, feel free to share those with me in the comment section below.

Take care,

Love,

Simon

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” – Albert Einstein

 

“Great, another quote :/”

If you’re a regular around here, you might have picked up some of my fancy quotes already. This one might be a a bit more complicated than the usual ones so allow me to make it retard-proof;

When we let our life (unconsciously) revolve around the ideas and actions that don’t take into account our individual strengths, interest and talents we’re never going to reach the potential we could have reached if we actually constructed our world around the things we’re actually good at.

Makes sense?

So how do we make sure we do this right?

————————————————–

What are strengths?

“A personal strength is the natural inclination to excel in a particular skill or situation”

Or at least, that’s the best way I can define it.

The key take-away of this definition is that strengths are natural (meaning in-born) qualities in which you perform above-average. They are the things that come easy to us whilst others might have more difficulty in dealing with these.

Why are my strengths important?

Many people (read: almost everyone) don’t know how to leverage their strengths and therefore don’t direct their natural talents and capabilities towards a favorable direction.

It’s the same reason why so many people get stuck in a career that is unfit for their particular skill-set and therefore they get demotivated, depressed and pretty much just “retire on the job”

If you discover and develop your natural inclinations you’re often able to produce much better results (and become more motivated) than if you would go against that.

Additionally, by knowing your weaknesses you’ll be able to steer away from the environments that won’t support you optimally.

“Hey there, wait a minute. My mom always told me that I could be whoever I wanted to be!” 

I also believed that statement for a looong time (emphasis on looong)

But here’s the thing;

Strengths are solely a performance indicator (not unchangeable truths). You can still be whoever you want to be, but you won’t perform optimally if you build your life on weaknesses.

“One should waste as little effort as possible on improving areas of low competence. It takes far more energy to improve from incompetence to mediocrity than it takes to improve from first rate performance to excellence” – Peter Drucker

Another note on this came from Strengthsfinder 2.0;

While it may be possible, with a considerable amount of work, to add talent where little exists, our research suggests that this may not be the best use of your time – Strengthsfinder 2.0 by Tom Rath

My recommendation?

1. Discover your strengths
2. Improve your strengths
3. Improve your weaknesses to the degree that they no longer hold you back (to a certain height)

“Alright, great Simon!”

“Soooo…”

What are my strengths?

There’s many different ways to go about finding your strengths so I’ve listed here several routes you can take in order to find this essential information about yourself.

Tests

A great way to start is doing some personality tests;

• MBTI-test,
• DISC-assessment
• Enneagram

During the tests you’ll have to judge certain statements and move the slider according to your preferences.

Once you’ve finished the tests, you’ll be redirected toward an overview page where you’ll find all sorts of info about your “personality-type”.

I know this kind off sounds like a horoscope or other pseudo-scientific crap but IMO it has some great insights. To me it “revealed” some accurate facts about myself.

Keep in mind they’re only indicators, not facts.

Books

Another way to discover your strengths if by reading the book; “Managing oneself” by Peter Drucker. I personally don’t believe you need the whole book (which is short, nevertheless) but you can get all the necessary information by simply reading and analyzing the summary.

> Download The Summary <

The book goes into detail to discover different attributes that contribute to your strengths. It’ll help you answer questions like;

• How do I perform best? By reading or listening?
• How do I learn best? (See Learning Styles)
  • Learning Style Test
• Do I prefer to work in team or alone?
• Am I a decision maker or an adviser?
• Am I a stress-performer or do I need a structured environment?

Another book I’d recommend on this topic is the strengths-test in the book “Strengthsfinder 2.0” by Tom Rath. It gives a clear overview of your top 5 personal strengths and action points which you can use to leverage these to their best potential.

Environment

Most often we’re blind to certain strengths and weaknesses whilst our surroundings are much faster at picking these up.

So simply ask around!

Ask your friends and family what they think could be your weaknesses and strengths and see if they say similar things (or give some totally new insights)

Often these are the traits that people appreciate you for, look up to you for, need your help for, …

Energize

Another great indicator of personal strength is to pay close attention to the activities that “energize” you. We often (if not always) excel at natural strengths and therefore we’re more inclined to spent time in these areas since they feel so rewarding.

Ask yourself?

• When was the last time you felt excited by a particular task that most people don’t find interesting?
• What are the activities you can lose yourself in? Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (Yes, I copy-pasted his name) calls this “the flow-state”. When we are in “flow”, time passes quickly and we feel absorbed in the task at hand.
• What topics do you LOVE to talk about with others and discus intensely?
• What blogs, videos or books are you primarily interested in?

Childhood

Another indicator of strength is to look back at your youth to see what captivated your attention in those early periods of your life. Over the years we’ve become conditioned to move away from the things we love the most because our surroundings have told us that “there’s no money to be made there”, “it’s a waste of time” whilst, in childhood, we’re the deepest connected to our strengths.

Another reason why we’re disconnected from our natural inclinations is because standard education forces each child trough the same curriculum without taking into account personal strengths and weaknesses (learning style, method of performing, …)

Anyway, I’ve already talked about that topic in my article on “Should You Go To School?”

What to do?

Ask your parents/older brother or sister what you used to do all the time when you were younger. Explore the attic where your old toys and drawings are stored.

More Questions

• In what did you grew up around? Competence can arise from early practice, what types of activities were you involved in as a child?
• What do strangers compliment you on? You/your direct surroundings often don’t notice your natural strengths as much as others do.
• What did you want to become as a child? What were the underlying trends?
• What have you been doing the last 10 years? Competence can arise from doing a certain thing over and over.
• What can you effortlessly talk about without losing drive? An interesting topic is most likely something you’re highly skilled at.
• What are the things you effortlessly excel at? What comes easy for you?
• In what areas do you learning quickly? Some skills are perfectly suited to our temperament and therefore we’re able to pick these up much faster and accelerate our expertise.
• Who do you envy? Jealousy is a nasty but beautiful emotion as it shows us what we truly want.

Essence

The key-thing I want you to take away from this is to build your life on strengths and not let weaknesses hold you back.

It will probably take a while to get to a definite decision as to what your strengths and weaknesses might be, but don’t let these hold you back. Keep searching

I recommend to keep a list of all your personal strengths in a word file or in Onenote. This knowledge will help you tremendously in choosing your direction in life and achieving some form of success.

Reminder: Strengths are performance indicators (not truth). You’re not limited to what you’re able to do, you’ll just perform optimally if you perform from strengths.

“Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control; these three alone lead one to sovereign power.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson

Anyway, that leads me into my final question (which you should ask yourself when choosing a career direction)

Given my strengths, interests and values, how can I provide value for others?

—————————————————————

If you feel like this post can help anyone out that you know, feel free to share it with your friends or send it in a mail to your mom! It helps me out a lot! If you’re having any thoughts or questions on this topic, feel free to share those with me in the comment section below.

Take care,

Love,
 

Simon

 

This is a book review of the book “Psycho-Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz. Skip to “Practical” and “Recommendation” for my advice on the book.

–> Download The PDF Summary <–

Watch The Video Review

Watch On Youtube

Author

Maxwell Maltz was a plastic surgeon who came in contact with many people who were not only physically scarred but also emotionally (trough the dis-empowering beliefs they held in their mind)

Therefore he started to research the connection between the self-image and belief systems. His research and findings have been documented in his books. (Amongst which is Psycho-Cybernetics)

Summary

Psycho cybernetics goes into great depth to discover the effect our mind has on our life. He talks about concepts like visualization, self-image, belief systems, corrective feedback, aging and many more.

“Your brain serves you, not the other way around”

 

“If this thought is constructive we’ll have it, if not, we’ll discard it”

---

Essence

Self Image

The self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment. It defines what you can and cannot do. Expand your self image and you expand the area of the possible. (the same is true for your perception of reality)

“You act and feel not according to what things are really like but of the image your mind holds of what things are like”

The past does not equal the future

“I am who I choose to be”

(imagine yourself as you’d like to be)

Stop identifying and condemning yourself for mistakes/failures. You are not your mistakes.

A typewriter doesn’t become worthless after making an error

Beliefs 

• Perception (self-suggestion vs. auto-suggestion)
• References (visualization, experience)
• Time (summation of references)

Visualization

The human nervous system cannot tell the difference between an actual experience and one imagined vividly and in detail. (practice basketball vs visualizing basketball = same progress)

We have skills and talents that are disabled by our belief-systems (visualize yourself doing GREAT (reference) at something new and you will do GREAT

Success Instinct

Humans reach goals through success-instinct (= goal + desire + action & corrective feedback) Like a torpedo getting closer to its target our mind “fires and forgets” until it reaches its target trough self-corrective feedback.

“When we set out to find a new idea /answer we must assume that the answer exists already.”

Humans are able to find extrasensory information (connect the dots)

Therefore our mind will automatically suggest the answer to the problems we focus on by closing the gap between current situation and desired situation. This is a servo-mechanism which continuously works in our favor. So focus on feeding it the desired information

Life Force

It is not retiring from a job that kills men, it is retiring from life. (people who fall into a “existential vacuum” after they retire, age very rapidly because they don’t know what to do.

Life force: Use it or lose it.

Life force is the energy that propels us towards our goals. Create the need for more life and your body will supply it. Faith, courage, goals, purpose, interest, optimism; GROWTH.

Practical

• Visualize your best self, daily; How do you want to be, feel and act?
• Visualize how you want (new) events to go like
• Visualize yourself as the controlling energy inside your heart-chamber (higher consciousness), that is the “real” you. Your body is the vessel/machinewhichis controlled by your “spirit”
  • Creates shift in perspective
  • Distantciation of problems/worries
  • Retreat for relaxation
• Write down your disempowering beliefs and identify what pain they cause in your life (pain/pleasure principle on beliefs)
• Concrete relaxation (legs/arm/head is made of concrete), happy room in heart (relaxation chamber visualization)
• Changing beliefs
  • Self-suggest empowering beliefs
  • Create references trough visualization and experience
• Changing emotions;
  • Language
  • Focus (Negative mental emotions are changed by controlling your mental imagery. “When you’re playing music you don’t like, change the record”)
  • Physical
• Ultimate 21-day challenge;
  • I will be as cheerful as possible
  • Friendly
  • Less critical, more tolerant
  • Act as if success is inevitable
  • I already am the person I want to be
  • Practice smiling at least 3x/day
  • Regardless of what happens I will act as calmly and intelligently as possible
  • I will ignore completely and close my mind to any and all negative thought patterns in my head which I can do nothing to change
• Socialdisinhibitors (excessive carefulness leads to inhibition and anxiety)
  • Don’t wonder in advance what might happen
  • Don’t plan but act
  • Stop criticizing yourself
  • Speak louder than normal
  • Let people know you like them
  • Physical relaxation (“Let the bell ring”, it’s not you, don’t answer)
  • Make a quiet room/happy room in your head and retreat in your room everyday (relaxation/meditation)
• Never disengage from life. Disengagement out of life creates aging (retirement from work vs. retirement from life) Keep growing creates the need for more life.

Recommendation

MUST READ

I recommend you to also read my post on Reprogramming Your Brain

“Motivation is what gets you started, habit is what keeps you going” – Jim Rohn

 

Aaah yes,

The question of motivation.

That’s exactly where we have arrived today. What shapes our motivation? What compels us to work on the goals we’ve set out for ourselves and how can we overcome the bullshit in our minds that leads to bad decisions and procrastination?

Over the last couple of months I’ve acquired some great insights on the science of what motivates us and how we can (re-)program our brain to work on our goals,

This way we’ll be able to overcome the endless procrastination, apathy and even depression we’ve encountered whilst trying to complete the things we KNOW are good for us,

Let’s go,,

———————————————————–

Video Blog On How We Can Increase Motivation Levels

Watch On Youtube

What Motivates Us?

The foundation of motivation is build upon push and pull factors. Humans are by instinct designed to move away from pain and into pleasure. This is called Hedonic motivation.

“The influence of a person’s pleasure and pain receptors on their willingness to move towards a goal or away from a threat”

For example:

• In ancient times, when we were attacked by a dangerous animal we’ll register this as “pain” and accordingly stay away from it.
• As babies we could have run into walls since we haven’t made the distinction yet that they can hurt us, Therefore our body programs us to stop running into walls (which is obvious for us, but not for babies)
• When our bodies comes into contact with high-sugar, high-fat foods (which provide a lot of energy), we’ll be rewarded by our brain by releasing dopamine (a “feel-good” hormone) and consequentely link pleasure to eating those foods. (Although an excess has lead to the self-sabotage of our health)

This is a GREAT system for survival and overcoming different situations and the foundation of why we do things.

Application?

All the decisions we make can be reduced to the need to avoid pain or the desire to attain pleasure, therefore this model is perfectly applicable to motivation,

Whenever your push (pain) en pull (pleasure) factors-outweigh the resistance you have to overcome to reach a desired “end-goal” you’ll be motivated to take the action.

Now what is more motivating?

Pain or pleasure?

The pain in your current situation (which is real) or your estimated pleasure from your new situation?

PAIN

pain is real, pain is tangible. It’s something you’re being constantly confronted with.

Therefore;

“the strongest motivators are obviously strong emotional pains that propel you out of your current situation”

For Example; I’ve heard a story of a man that had a serious smoking addiction. When he went to a routine check-up, the doctor briefly but firmly told him this;

“If you don’t stop smoking, you won’t see the 18th birthday of your son”

Despite the fact that this advice was real or not – How do you think it impacted the man?

It DEVASTATED him. The emotional pain of smoking became so strong that that man never smoked again,

Tony Robbins has another great video called “The Pain-Pleasure Principle”, where he explains this motivational model.

 

Yeah, yeah, Sounds great Simon. But why do I still don’t feel the urgent need to work on my goals?

This is because humans are instinctively programmed to be lazy. (See post on “How We Sabotage Ourselves“)

Huh?

Once all our basic needs are fulfilled we don’t have the intense desire anymore to progress. This is because satisfied needs don’t motivate.

Needs VS. Wants

According to Abraham Maslow, humans have 3 types of needs;

1. Basic Needs
   1. Physical (eat, sleep, rave repeat)
   2. Safety (shelter)
2. Psychological needs
   1. Love & belonging
   2. Self esteem
3. “Being” needs
   1. Self-Actualization

The first two types are called the “Deficit needs”. If these needs are not fulfilled they will make us feel uncomfortable (Read: supply pain). These emotional/physical pains creates the compelling drive to move OUT of our current situation into a more desired situation.

Once all  our deficit needs are fulfilled, our bodies basically shut down; it says:

Howowow!! calm the fuck down there buddy, you got everything you need… Why exert energy? Life is goooood, just chiiiiiil. Stop being so uptight.

Never in history has this happened before on such a massive scale. So many peoples’ deficit needs are fulfilled (especially in modern cultures) and therefore our instincts no longer tell us what to do.

This leads to what is known as the “existential vacuüm”. (Like I talked about in my post on “Finding Your Purpose”

This directionless state is actually the main cause of boredom, addiction, depression, aggression and even suicide.

Solution?

Self-Actualization

Now the last type of need is something fairly complex yet immensely important (and most people don’t even realize this)

By completing each successive layer of deficit needs, we need something more to keep us away from this vacuum.

Enter: self-actualization

What is self-actualization?

I like to define self actualization as;

“The process of becoming increasingly competent at worthwhile work”.

Meaning people have the NEED to strive beyond their deficit needs by “achieving their maximum potential”

This is exactly what many major self-development websites help you to figure out. All talking about the same principle, in different words. (click to enlarge)

Sounds great.. right? But what’s the problem?

Once all our deficit needs are present and accounted for, our body loses PAIN which is an ESSENTIAL component of pushing yourself forward. And therefore we lose our drive.

We become aimless and try to escape from this mental discomfort by stimulation or sedation (Like I talked about in my post on “Walking The Narrow Road“)

“Satisfied needs don’t motivate”

Self-actualization requires the NECESSITY for a new form of motivation. Something that can compel us to keep going even when all oiur needs are fulfilled.

This is called metamotivation

So basically self-generated motivational factors (outside our instincts)

If we want to get out of our existential depression we’ll have to create powerful motivators that can get us moving. Therefore I don’t really view self-actualization as a need but more as a want.

So the question remains: How bad do you want it?

& how do we increase motivation levels?

How To Self-Generate Motivation

We do this by creating more pain & pleasure elements in our life that can propel us forwards.

I’ve come to believe that the strongest motivational factors that push us to self-actualization are the following;

• Autonomy
• Purpose
• Mastery

Autonomy

Autonomy is the desire to be self-directed. Emotional investment in certain directions therefore creates the motivation (engagement) to persist in them.

“There can be no engagement without investment”

If other people give you a clear cut pattern that you need to follow, you’ll feel less engaged since you aren’t invested in the process.

How to become more autonomous?

Set your own goals and life accordingly

Note: Some people say their life isn’t under their control and credit all the responsibility of their life to circumstances, chance or faith.

If you believe the twinkle fairy rules your life – you won’t be needing any motivation, the twinkle fairy has an infinite supply of that for you ;) Hence why this post is probably not something for you..

Purpose

Purpose is what I call the primary motivator for your life. It’s what you think about when you get out of your bed in the morning and what keeps you working hard until late at night.

It is the single most powerful meta-motivator for achieving self-actualization 

“Connecting to a cause larger than yourself is what will drive the desire to excel.”

Purpose can be brought into perspective by reminding yourself that you’re going to die.

By visualizing yourself at your own funeral or being confronted by it in real life we’re having more conscious thought as to what legacy we want to leave on this planet.

Will I have mattered once I’m gone? The way we fulfill this is unique for everyone (but extremely important)

How to find purpose?

read my post on finding your purpose

Mastery/Competence

The last thing that intrinsically motivates us is the desire to excel and grow in our chosen areas.

How to increase mastery?

Mastery and competence can be added to your life by creating a competitive environment. Creating this contrast between yourself and others can create the drive to improve your performance (which, in turn makes you feel more competent)

Therefore surround yourself with high-achievers

“The people we see set the standard for what’s acceptable”

Another great way to add competence is by keeping ourselves accountable for the goals we’ve set by sharing them with others. “Proving others wrong” or “keeping your word” are powerful tools that can help you reduce the resistance.

Aditionally, we can also shift our perception by stopping to focus on our end-goals. I often see people enfuriated because they aren’t where they want to be yet.

Instead of doing that, solely focus on the progress you’ve already made by keeping a track record of where you started and where you are now.

Some practical ways to do this;

• Keep a diary
• Keep pictures of milestones in your life
• Set measure points (judge yourselfonqualityandquantity of actions performed and not on results obtained. Results are simply a measuring stick forthequalityandquantity of your actions)
  • How many words did you write?
  • How many girls did you approach?
  • # of Networking emails written?

Here’s another cool video on the science of what motivates us;

Plainly, sticks & carrot methods aren’t as effective as strong, internal motivators.

The way to become intrinsically self-motivated is by becoming increasingly competent (mastery/competence) at worthwhile work (purpose & autonomy)

Other Methods

Rewards & Consequence

They might not be as effective, yet they can add the extra push you need to beat resistance.

By doing tasks that are in the right direction of our goals you MUST provide yourself certain benefits that will act as a catalyst to do something. If you make a decision you don’t tolerate: punish yourself.

For example: I make these little notes on scraps of red and green paper and put them all together in a bowl. If I finished a full day in which all my priorities has been completed I could draw at random one reward. The same way if I didn’t do this, I have to draw one red card.

Reward examples 

• Listen to a fiction audio-book for 30 minutes
• Buy something for yourself for x amount of money
• Watch a movie
• Take a hot bath whilst listening to soothing music

Consequence examples

• Drink flaxseed oil & wheatgrass
• Eat 3 red peppers
• Take a 10 minute cold shower
• Do 100 push-ups
• donate money to anti-charity

Here’s a recent video I made of one of the consequences I apply in my life to condition myself;

 

Anyway, you get the point. Find the stimulators and consequences that WORK for you. These are all person-specific.

“What gets rewarded, gets repeated”

Limiting options

By limiting the options for bad choices we’re able to completely delete the resistance we otherwise had to overcome.

For example: when you’re starting a diet, just remove all the options in your house to eat food that is bad for you and only bring back healthy food to your house. You don’t have to resist the cookies, chips and whatnot if it’s not availabale, right?

Music/videos

Music and videos are a translation of emotion that can fire you up to push trough resistance. Since motivation is mainly in your head (emotional state) we can generate this by watching inspirational videos or music that release endolphins in our head.

Take note that this shouldn’t be practiced too often otherwise it’s effect will run out. Due to fatigue of the dolphins off-course…

SCIENCE!

Here’s my favorite at the moment;

Essence

I hope this post has given you some insightful ways as to how motivation works and how you can strive towards self-actualization by creating meta-motivational factors.

Here’s a quick Re-cap;

• Pain & pleasure governs why we do things
• Self-actualization requires self-created motivation since our deficit needs don’t provide the pain to push ourselves forward (this is necessary to overcome the existential vacuüm)
• The 3 most powerful intrinsic motivators are;
  • Autonomy
  • Purpose
  • Mastery/competence
• Influence actions by rewards & consequences, motivation & music and limiting your options.

On another note, resistance will ALWAYS be present in our life. We can use mind-tricks, conditioning and so-forth but the wall we face will always remain.

Therefore the last strategy that I want to give you is simply this one:

Just shut the fuck up and do it

Become a self-starter by breaking the negative feedback loop that holds you in that disempowering pattern. Snap out of it by continuous persistence on your goals.

The truth is this: we’re constantly in the process of reprogramming our brain. We’re either getting a little bit more intense or a little bit softer everyday.

Your regress or you progress. By consistently breaking trough resistance it will be a lot easier the next time until it becomes a habit. Therefore don’t stare blindly at your purpose or mastery factors and just get up and do it.

Motivational factors is what get us started but persistence lowers the resistance over time so it will become a habit and we’ll perform those actions on auto-pilot. Better sets some powerful habits then!

Guess that leaves me with just one more question?

What Motivates You?

———————————————————–

If you feel like this post can help anyone out that you know, feel free to share it with your friends or send it in a mail to your mom! It helps me out a lot! If you’re having any thoughts or questions on this topic, feel free to share those with me in the comment section below.

Take care,

Love,
Simon

This post was partly inspired by Owen Cook from Real Social Dynamics. Here’s a great video he made on ‘Long-Term Motivation”

 

This is a book review of the book “Man’s Search For Meaning” by Viktor E. Frankl. Skip to “Practical” and “Recommendation” for my advice on the book

–> Download The PDF Summary <–

---

 Check Out The Video Review

Watch On Youtube

Author

Viktor Frankl was a jewish psychiatrist during world war II. Born in Vienna 1905, published more than thirty books on theoretical and clinical psychology. Died in 1997

Summary

Man’s search for meaning is a foundational work of survival literature. It explains how humans have the need to have meaning in their life (especially in this modern world). This “higher purpose” enables them to push beyond their normal, physical capactities and endure the worst of atrocities.

“He who has a strong enough “why” to live, can endure almost any how.”

 

“Life has a potential meaning under any circumstance”

Essence

Meaning

Meaning can be found under any circumstances and is the primary motivator for humans. Hope for better circumstances is what gives life meaning (as in psycho cybernetics – engagement creates “life force”)

Proactivity & Responsibility

Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind. The last human freedom is to choose ones attitude (response) in any given set of circumstances (stimulus)

“We can decide the choice but not the consequence”

Man is ultimately self-defining. What he becomes – within the limits of endowment and environment – he has made of himself

En*theos “GOD – Within” “I am my own creator”

Purpose

“Lack of purpose is the main cause of boredom, addictions, depressions, aggression and even suicide. Purpose gets replaced by will to pleasure (sedation/stimulation vs. “narrow road”)

Life in itself is meaningless – man gives it meaning

Purpose can be found in;

• Deed/work
• Person/event
• Suffering (return of instinct)

Optimism

Optimist vs. pessimist = sad and depressed by shrinking days <-> living for the “remarkable” future. Nothing is lost in the past but irrevocably stored.

Realistic vs Neurotic fear

Noögenic neuroses (existential depression) are caused by our current absence of traditions and instinct à state of boredom.

Which results in;

• Conformism = doing as others are doing
• Totalitarism = doing as others are telling your to do

Practical

• Avoid “homeostasis – tensionless state” troughnoödynamics (existential meaning).
  • Find your purpose
  • Ask yourself: When I’m 80, would the life I’m living right now be meaningful? (looking back/change perspective)
  • Know how to “suffer” in the present by finding meaning/hope for a future worth living. (I suffer now for a better tomorrow à Stoicism)
• Choose your responses carefully (especially when it is difficult). Be an actor, not a reactor
• Live as if you were living for the second time already and you had lives as wrongfully the first time as you are about to live now.

Recommendation?

MUST READ

“There Is No Truth, There Is Only Perception” – Gustave Flaubert

 

I’ve recently learned an amazing trick that has allowed me to improve myself in all areas of my life and has gradually improved my life to an extent that is simply unimaginable. (And no, it wasn’t my morning ritual)

Reprogramming my brain

This stuff isn’t black magic and can pretty much be performed by anyone who’s willing to try it out. (although it is a pseudo-science, it has worked for me)

If you’re able to commit to the steps I described in this post you’ll be able to change how you see yourself and how you perceive the world. These two factors can make or break your possibilities and opportunities in life.

Why not try it eh..?

——————————————————

Watch On Youtube

What Are Beliefs?

Beliefs are basically your thinking patterns that have build up over the years to form a mental image of what you think is “the truth”. They define who we think we are, how we perceive the world and eventually everything we think we’re capable off.

The problem with beliefs is that we don’t always (read: never) believe in the actual truth but simply our perception of the truth, based on the knowledge we’ve gathered in our lifetime.

This can become dangerous if we choose to believe in the wrong stuff!

Like.. really dangerous..

Why Should I Change My Beliefs?

Often in life we’re stuck with conditioned beliefs (auto-suggestion) by society that have dictated to us who we are and what we’re capable of. By allowing other people to do so, we’re basically limiting our possibilities and chances for success. (among many other)

• If people tell you that you’re not smart, guess what you’re going to believe about yourself? –> That you’re dumb
• If you failed at public speaking for the first time in your life, guess what you’re going to believe about yourself? –> That you suck at public speaking
• If you had an awkward night out with weird interactions with women, guess what you’re going to believe? –> That you’re creepy and unattractive
• …

The list is endless

Anyway, do you see the trend?

We base the perception of ourselves and our surroundings on the knowledge we’ve gathered over the years oblivious to the fact that these beliefs might simply be lies we tell our-self.

We form false conclusions based on the gathered knowledge

Why is this a problem?

Our perception of who we are and of our world is literally what shapes our life. Our beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies.

So here’s the major problem I’ve seen in myself and pretty much every other human being on this entire planet;

We choose to believe bullshit

(and you probably do this too!)

• We CHOOSE for truths that actively destroy our possibilities in life
• We CHOOSE for realities that limit our opportunities
• We CHOOSE to live in a world in which we are the victim

Fuck that noise… seriously

Like I said in my post titled “The STFU-Manifesto“:

Disempowering beliefs get you no-where in life

So why indulge in them?

How Do I Change My Beliefs?

The first step to changing your beliefs is to clearly realize that these beliefs will take everything away from you that you want out of life.

• Love
• Opportunity
• Passion
• Health
• Happiness
• …

To make this more real for you, you can start by writing down your limiting beliefs and describe in detail how they have destroyed your life in the past and how they will continue to ruin it in the future.

So…

“Yeah Yeah, all fun and games but how do we change these things Simon?”

GREAT question! Let me get to that;

Beliefs are determined and changed by three key pillars;

• Our Perception (What we see as “truth”)
• Our References (The so-called “proof” we use to back our “truth” up)
• Time (Transition time between two beliefs)

Step 1: Changing Your Perception

For reprogramming your mind, you should  start with your perception. This is basically what you believe to be true; the perception of yourself and the world around you.

Often these perceptions have been given to us by our surroundings when we were younger like I said before. Actually, most of the things we believe up until this day are provided by our surroundings.

• Your mom that says you’re naturally gifted at singing
• Your teachers at school that say the world is difficult and cruel
• …

This process is called auto-suggestion (or at least, that’s what I call it ;)). These beliefs are “automatically” provided by the media, friends, society and whatnot. It’s the”default” mode in our brain.

But the problem is that most people stay stuck with these false truths for the rest of their life, not knowingly they can change them.

“Booooring, gimme something practical man…”

The way we change our beliefs is by overriding what we currently believe trough self-suggestion (meaning you create the perception you want to have about yourself and about your life)

This is the most important step you’ll need to take if you want to reprogram your brain.

Step 2: Building Up References

The problem is that you’ll now have two, conflicting beliefs about yourself and the belief with the most references (aka the one that feels the most “true”) is the one that will take over.

Our brain will resist our new, empowering belief until we’ve actually build up enough references to back it up in the first place. This resistance is called “Cognitive dissonance“.

Our mind will enter a state of mental in-equilibrium (mental stress) in which it tries to reduce the contrast between the conflicting beliefs.

“Dissonance is felt when people are confronted with information that is inconsistent with their beliefs. If the dissonance is not reduced by changing one’s belief, the dissonance can result in restoring consonance through perception, rejection or refutation of the information, seeking support from others who share the beliefs, and attempting to persuade others”

Basically our mind will try to disprove our new belief continuously.

Assuming an empowering identity/reality will be hard to “believe” in the beginning until you’ve build up enough references to actually back your identity/world up. But you just need to persist in living according to what you want to believe in order to create the references to actually back that belief up.

Makes sense?

For Example:

• You won’t believe you’re good with women until you’ve successfully approached one (or several ones). But you won’t successfully approach them if you don’t believe you can.
• You won’t believe you’re good at studying math until you’ve actual done a great test in math. But you won’t do a great test unless you’re actually convinced you’re good at studying math which will result in you putting more effort in the learning
• …

See the contradiction?

A: Yes, this is a mind-fuck in the beginning.

A great way to build up references with your new beliefs is by vividly visualizing them in action. I’ve recently read a great book titled “Psycho-Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz which states that;

“The human nervous system cannot tell the difference between an actual experience and one imagined vividly and in detail.”

So by practicing the beliefs we want in our mind, we’re able to build up experiences (read: references) BEFORE we actually go out and apply them. This is HUGE.

(that’s what she said)

If you want to believe you are more confident, smart, attractive, whatever. Simply vividly imagine yourself acting and being EXACTLY how you would want to be in each situation.

In psychology, this type of treatment is called implosive theraphy.

Keep persisting until your new, empowering belief becomes your standard thought-pattern.

Step 3: Time

Basically, fake it until you build up enough references to start believing in it.

Time, therefore is the last factor for changing beliefs. It is the gradual change agent between two conflicting beliefs.

So persisting is key here.

Over time, our new empowering belief will take the place of our old, disempowering belief. This is the same way as you build new habits. When we continuously use willpower to reach a desired action, it will become habitual over time.

In the same way, we can build up a habitual personality. Our new, empowering beliefs will therefore become “auto-suggested” and we wont have to deal anymore with the cognitive dissonance.

Congratulations! You’ve just re-programmed your mind.

Essence

Alright so, I hope I’ve been able to clearly show you guys how our thought patterns shape our life and therefore the necessity of creating empowering beliefs.

If you don’t believe all this new-age, pseudo-scientific stuff,  just say to yourself:

Why not try it? What do I have to lose?

I agree it is a bit far “out-there”/hippie-ish. I was skeptical at first too. But it is what it is and I contribute the massive changes I’ve recently made in my life to exactly this process. So by sharing this I’ll hope it’ll work for you too.

I’ve mainly used this technique to change how I see myself. This by writing down EVERYTHING I want to believe about myself and re-conditioning it by reading and visualizing how I want to be.

I even got audio tapes now which I play every morning and evening which tell me how great I am.

Quick Re-cap:

1. Perception.
   1. Become aware of your self-talk and recognize the auto-suggested belief is a limiting perception
   2. Recognize the pain it causes in your life.
   3. Self-suggest a new perception whilst discounting/logically disproving your old perceptions (maybe even write these down!). I keep a list of negative beliefs I have and their counter-arguments.
2. Build Up References
   1. Visualize vividly and in detail how this new belief will take effect. Use it to practice getting better at skills, situations and traits.
   2. Experience new situations that confirm your new perception. Expose yourself and ask yourself feedback questions!
3. Time
   1. Let references build up, so your new perception becomes habitual (anywhere from 18 to 254 days – 66 on average)
   2. Logically de-interpret/forget negative experiences.

That’s it.

Simple, yet not easy.

But definitely rewarding if you’re able to stick with it!

So before I leave you, I want to ask you guys;

What’s the #1 Limiting Belief that is holding you back in life?

—————————————–

If you feel like this post can help anyone out that you know, feel free to share it with your friends or send it in a mail to your mom! It helps me out a lot! If you’re having any thoughts or questions on this topic, feel free to share those with me in the comment section below.

Take care,

Love,

Simon

Inspiration and partial credit for this post goes to Steven Aitchison

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act but a habit.” – Aristotle

 

Do you ever find yourself frustrated with other people who are making amazing progress in their life? The kinds that seem to “have it all”.

The people that have great social relationships?
The ones in great health and the ones that have strong bodies?
The people who have money to buy everything they want?

And they make it look like it’s easy too! Everything always turns out in their favor.

Do you want to know their secret?

—————————————

Observation

Have you ever wondered why these people have it so easy while you have to hustle for everything you want? Does it look like they get everything they want, presented on a silver platter? Well now, I’ve found the answer to all these questions!

Do you want to know why they have it so easy? I’ll tell you!

They don’t

People who make their life seem like a breeze can be either two things;

1. They genuinely have an easy life
   (In which case you shouldn’t envy them anyway since they won’t learn the value of hard work and diligence until it’s to late)
2. They have empowering habits

Now the people who belong to the second category are the ones who are really interesting to learn from. I believe that our life is the sum of our habits. If we have destructive habits (smoking, drinking, excessive spending, bad social skills, addictions, ….) the results will show up in our life.

On the other hand, when we have empowering habits, there’s no telling what successes lie in our future.

I’ve touched upon this topic in another post called “Have A Life Worth Living! (Walk The Narrow Road)“

For example;

• Beethoven would carry around sheets of music paper and a pencil whenever he was taking long vigorous walks in case an idea struck him.
• Sigmund Freud kept psychoanalytic journals in which he would write down his latest findings and ideas.
• Charles Darwin would routinely make three walks a day in order to contemplate on the things he was studying and structure his thoughts.

These are just a few examples of well-known people who have reached their fame and success by cultivating these good habits . Case in point, empowering habits are really important!

Implementation

I’ve written another post on this topic a long time ago called “The 8 Elemental Habits Of Successful People (That You Need To Have)“. Although I still agree with many points of the post I’ve gotten the feeling that list is far from complete.

Over the past months I’ve been implementing and experimenting with new habits like a maniac in order to see which ones are the most valuable ones (I’m still doing this up until this day)

For Example;

• Meditation
• Waking up regularly at 5:30
• Morning runs on an empty stomach
• Working out at different times of day
• Reading
• Writing
• Cleaning (yes, cleaning my room)
• …

But over the last couple of months I’ve made a remarkable discovery that literally changed my life for the better. I found the habit of doing a morning ritual!

Morning Ritual

A morning ritual is basically as series of routine actions you do from the moment you wake up that set you up for a GREAT day!

Do you know people who simply radiate confidence, happiness and determination? The people who make the ground TREMBLE as they pass? The people who seem resistant to challenge, worry or obstacles?

These INTENSE people that immediately draw your attention?

They aren’t better than you, nor cut from a different cloth. The simple difference is that they consciously (or subconsciously) CHOOSE how they will run their day when they wake up.

• They demand of themselves to be in a GREAT emotional state
• They demand of themselves to be confident
• They demand of themselves to be productive
• They CONDITION themselves into successful habits

every single day

When you feel sad, depressed, unconfident or lonely that’s because you CHOSE to feel like that. There are many things we do by which we set ourselves up for a bad, unproductive day. I don’t believe in “bad moods” or “morning tempers”, in my opinion those are just signs of a lack of emotional control..

Many people, unconsciously have made their own “morning ritual” that sets them up for disaster without really knowing it.

For Example;

• They might press the snooze button once before they get out of bed
• They drink a 7 cups of coffee before starting their day
• They check their Facebook, Twitter or Email
• …

Have you ever opened your email in the morning and found out some bad news that made you pissed-off for the remainder of the day? Have you ever had to drag yourself out of bed just because you didn’t want to go to work?

Basically, what I’m saying is that the actions we take in the beginning of the day (especially the first hour) can define the attitude we have throughout the rest of the day.

Simply DECIDE how your day will be

Start to CONDITION yourself for success.

The way we condition our-self (create ourself) will directly result in the quality of life you have

If you’re able to implement this habit consistently in your life. It will make you UNSTOPPABLE.

Success will become inevitable

How To Do A Morning Ritual

Here are the steps I take each morning to ensure a happy, productive and inspiring day. 

#1) Masturbate (2 to 3 times)
#2) Take a shot of Tequila
#3) Play video games for three hours

Ow scratch that, that’s the evening ritual..

Anyway, now for real ;)

I’ve also made a short summary of my morning ritual in a video blog.

Morning Ritual Video Blog

Watch On Youtube

Step 1: Physical “Awakening” (WAKE UP)

When we get out of our bed we’re often very fuzzy and disoriented. To really start your day of right I feel it’s essential to awaken your senses & reflexes (touch, sound, taste, sight, smell, pain and temperature) before anything else. By giving our body many different stimuli we’re forcing it to wake up all it’s systems and become alert.

This is similar (although not entirely) to the effect when animals need to avoid predators and enter a state of hyper-awareness as I like to call it. Basically if you want to wake up, stimuli is the way to do it. Many people tend to resort to “drugs” or pills that can amp up their alertness

For Example;

• Benzedrine
• Amphetamine
• Caffein
• …

Although these substances can be great when you’re living a stressful, draining life (airline pilots, truck drivers, people who are sleep-deprived and so-forth) I believe we should always opt first for the “normal route” first. But many people just tend to skip this step.

Here’s how I do it;

1. MUSIC
   

   To start getting myself in a great mood for the day I often put on some good music that will stimulate my hearing. Songs I frequently listen to in the morning include;  Caliente – Jay Santos, Ahzee – King, Example – All The Wrong Places (Quintino Remix) and Calvin Harris – C.U.B.AThere are just soo many examples but I’m sure you can find something you like that’ll “spike you up” in the morning.Whilst the music is playing I do the following things;

2. SMILING (1 – 3 minutes)
   

   I always make sure I’m setting myself for a positive day and therefore I simply start smiling for a while whilst listening to the music. I believe in the statement that says “motion before emotion” and that we should first adopt the emotion we want to feel in our posture in order to experience it.Even when you’re depressed you can start feeling happier by simply smiling. Don’t smile because your circumstances allow it at that time but because you deserve to be happy.

3. STRETCHING

   By lying in your bed for a whole day your body has become immensely rigid and needs to start moving! Activating the body will also activate the mind (which I’ll describe more into detail in the next paragraph) I do three basic yoga stretch-exercises at the moment (I might have the names wrong);
   > The Cobra
   > The Downward Facing Dog
   > Prayer
   
   I also use a technique I call intuitive stretching  (just googled it and it actually exists!) Basically you just stretch the muscles you feel like stretching. Your neck, shoulder joints, back, whatever part of your body that feels “tense”

4. PUSH-UPS
   

   Get you heart rate up and the blood flowing trough your body! Any physical type of exercise will do (squats, lunges, burpees) I found doing push-ups the most convenient.I used to do early morning runs, but I cut back from those because they were taking up too much time (and added more exhaustion than they added energy to “attack the day”)

5. PLANKING (2:15 minutes)
   

   This is a simple, basic exercise I use for training the stabilizing muscles in my core. I got this sweet concept from a friend who’s really advanced at it.Currently I’m studying sports and human movement in school and have been taught that core exercises are fundamental if you want to avoid posture imbalances, forms of reuma and back injury at all old age.Make sure you strengthen your core with stabilizing exercises!

6. BOUNCING (1 minute)
   

   Just bounce around on your feet whilst shaking your arms and head . Bouncing & shaking is a form of expressive meditation (as opposed to passive meditation which follows a bit later)

7. BREATHING (10X)
   

   The next physical need we’ll need to fill is basic breathing! Deep breathing has been found to lower cortisol (stress-hormones) levels instantly. It makes you really calm and grounded after some of the physical exercises that have “activated” your body.It will not lower your consciousness but it’ll calm and clear your mind and bring you back “down to center” (being calm basically). The way I do this is really simple;> Breath in for 5 seconds trough your nose
   > Hold Breath for 5 seconds
   > Exhale for 5 seconds trough your mouth/nose10 times, easy-peasy.

8. HYDRATE
   

   One of the major things you should be doing when you wake up in the morning is hydrating! After a long night’s rest your body has lost a major part of it’s water content trough respiration and perspiration (sweating). This can even add up to a total of about 1 liter of water (2lbs/907grams).When you get out of your bed each day your body is dehydrated. Therefore I recommend drinking about 750ml of water (3-4 big glasses) in the morning. More is always good but I don’t recommend passing over 1,5 – 2 liters.On the other hand I do recommend to fill up a water bottle (1,5-2l) that you drink from during the day and just carry around at all times. There’s countless benefits in drinking water that it is utmost absurd to deprive your body from this essential liquid.

9. LEMON JUICE (250ml)
   

   The last thing I do in order to wake my body up physically is drinking an additional 250ml of warm water with lemon (1 squeezed lemon), Drinking lemon water has also many benefits like detoxification and is also a great source of vitamin C (which help the immune system in fighting diseases)

I know all of this sounds really overwhelming at first but the key to this part is just to stimulate all your senses in order to increase alertness. I don’t think you should do all the things I’m doing but gradually build up your routine and see what really works for you

I’m still constantly altering my routine as I’d like to implement more things into this.

We’re not done yet with our morning ritual… ;)

Step 2: Emotional “Awakening” (RE-CONNECT)

Now that we’ve activated our mind and body, we can move into the next part of actually connecting with our identity. The way I do this is by reading my Personal Mission Statement. This is a concept I learned from “The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey.

“A Personal Mission Statement helps define who you are and how you will live (code of conduct). It’s basically the blueprint for your life which adds a tremendous amount of clarity and purpose”

For more information on creating your own PMS, read my article on “How To Write A Personal Mission Statement“

In my PMS. I have written down three things;

• My Identity (Who am I?)
  > Re-definine who you want to be
  > Stop believing your conditioned BS and build up new references
  > Visualize your ultimate self
• My Purpose (Why am I alive?)
  > Find out why you are alive!
• My Vision (How do I see my life?)
  > Visualize your ultimate life/world
  > Reflect on your goals
  I go over the weekly and daily goals I’ve set for myself and look at the things that need to get done that week.
  (If you haven’t made any goals yet, I recommend you read my post on “How To Set Goals” and start taking action on that immediately.)

These three keys are essential in order live a happy and successful life. If you would compare life to a tree, this would be the roots. This is the foundation on which you build your life.

Step 3: Emotional “Engaging” (STATE)

Alright now we’ve been able to improve our alertness and reconnect to our identity we should start to engage in life emotionally!

Engaging our emotions is what will define our mood for the remainder of the day,
The way we should do this is by asking ourselves a set of empowering questions. These questions allow us to direct our focus on positive emotions and productivity (aka getting things done)

Maxwell Maltz talks about this concept in his book “Psycho-Cybernetics”. He says that “Negative mental emotions are changed by controlling your mental imagery”. So by changing what we focus on in our head we’re able to change the emotions we feel.

“When you’re playing music you don’t like, change the record” – Maxwell Maltz

Ask yourself the following questions; (OUT LOUD – This is key)

• What can I be excited for in my life right now? 
  Genuinely try to search for things you could be excited about. Maybe it’s music you’re listening to, a project you’re working on, a hobby you’re engaging in and so-forth.Everyone has something in their life for which they can feel genuinely excited if only they’re willing to look for it.
• How can I pump up my state?
  A great video on this topic in the one on incantations by Tony Robbins. Affirmations are BS and something you should never use. Incantations are beliefs you put your whole body, mind and energy into, so you make them real.
• For Example;
  > Don’t say you’re happy, demand of yourself to be happy
  > Don’t say you’re confident, demand of yourself to be confident
  > Don’t say you’re courageous, demand of yourself to not let your life be governed by fear

• What can I be proud of in my life? 
• What can I feel grateful for in my life? 
• What can I feel passionate about in my life right now?
• What can I be committed to in my life right now?
• How am I going to dominate today?

Step 4: Physical “Engaging” (MOMENTUM)

Alright, now we’re emotionally engaged in life and know what to do, it’s time to get going with our day-to-day life.

I’ve put together some routine actions I take every morning to create some momentum in my day. These will set me up for a focused, clear and structured day. Starting with these smaller, routine actions creates a domino effect to attack bigger challenges during the day.

1. Cold Shower
   I’ve been taking these each morning for the past two months as a result of a promise I’ve made to myself.I’ve committed to taking a cold shower each morning (when possible) until the day I’ve reached financial independence.(MeaningI’ve build up an asset column that covers all my expenses, according to principles taught in the book “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”Besides it has a lot of other benefits..
2. Meditate
   The last month I’ve been consistently meditating for about 14 minutes a day (increasing incrementally) which helps me to clear my mind and re-focus for the coming day.More benefits of meditation
3. Read (20 mins)
   I’m huge fan of reading. It is probably one of the most important habits you should cultivate in your life. Reading has helped me to literally shave years of my learning curve to get the results that I want in life.Reading allows us to simulate the future and skip the time-consuming process of trial and error. It allows us to “stand on the shoulders of giants”. Be a continual learning machine.
4. Breakfast
   Get some energy in your tank to attack your day. Currently my breakfast looks like this;

 

1. Clean/Personal Hygiene
   Brush teeth, shave, floss, hair and stuff like that..

That’s it! Time to attack your goals for the day…

Essence

I’m aware that this article is a lot to take in at a time and therefore I want to point out that the most important thing to take away from this is to construct your days out of empowering habits. 

My morning ritual is simply a successive chain of empowering habits that set me up each and every day to the best of my abilities. When we go to sleep we basically press the “reset-button” on our brain and therefore we should actively strive to re-engage our mind

EVERY SINGLE DAY

RE-CAP

1. Physical “Awakening” (WAKE UP)
   • Happy Music
   • Smile
   • Stretch, 25 Push-ups & Planking
   • Breathe & Shake
   • Water + Lemon Juice
2. Emotional “Awakening” (RE-CONNECT)
   • Who Are You? (Identity)
   • What’s The Meaning Of Your Life? (Purpose)
   • How Do You See Your Life? (Vision)
3. Emotional “Engaging” (STATE)
   • Ask Empowering Questions
   • Read daily planning
4. Physical “Engaging” (MOMENTUM)
   • Cold Shower
   • Meditate
   • Read
   • Breakfast
   • Hygiene

Note that my morning ritual is in constant change since I’m continuously learning new and better ways to start my day. The key is to create your own.

Switch the order around, add new things to the mix. Simply experiment and take what works and discard the things that don’t.

You decide.

So now;

Start Building Your Own Morning Ritual!

———————————————–

If you feel like this post can help anyone out that you know, feel free to share it with your friends or send it in a mail to your mom! It helps me out a lot! If you’re having any thoughts or questions on this topic, feel free to share those with me in the comment section below.

Also, let me know what impact this habit has had on your life and share your morning ritual with me !

Take care,

Love,
Simon

Inspiration/partial credit for this post goes to Stefan Pylarinos from ProjectLifeMastery.com

 

“The Blueprint for success is inside you. It will stay there unless you take it out and create it” – Larina Kase

 

I’ve always had a constantly shifting character during the weeks. Sometimes I would be grumpy and really silent whilst other times I would be the most fun and outgoing guy you’ve ever met.

People had broad opinions of me and I didn’t really come over as being “congruent” whilst shifting between these different personality types.

Furthermore I wasn’t all that excited about my life and just drifted along, not really caring what I would do with my days. Making decisions like playing video games for 6 hours a day, not going out, eating crap (not literally) and so-forth.

I didn’t really have something that could “guide” me in the right direction.

Sounds familiar?

—————————————————

PMS: The Blueprint For Your Life

(personal mission statement, that is. Basing your life on that other pms is not-so-fun :/)

This stopped when I found a great way to get more clarity and meaning in my life by writing for myself a personal mission statement

Basically, what a personal mission statement is, is a piece of paper or a word document which contains three essential things that form the foundation for your life.

• Your Identity (Who are you?)
• Your Purpose (What’s the meaning of your life?)
• Your Vision (How do you see your life?)

“personal mission statements based on correct principles are like a personal constitution, the basis for making major, life-directing decisions, the basis for making daily decisions in the midst of the circumstances and emotions that affect our lives.

When we create a mission statement of our own and choose to live by it we can flow with changes. We don’t need prejudgments or prejudices. We don’t need to figure out everything else in life, to stereotype and categorize everything and everybody in order to accommodate reality.”

 

Stephen R. Covey

 

Why Should I Write A Personal Mission Statement?

A personal mission statement simply provides clarity and gives you a sense of direction in your life.

See it as a map that will guide you to the life you want to have. When you’re guided in life by this changeless sense of who you are, why you’re alive and what you value in life, there are no difficult choices and you’ll always know what the most effective use is of your time, your talents and energy.

You’ll “flow” with change.

You always know what the best option for you to take is. The same way like a river won’t mistake its way back to the ocean, so will you not lose the path to the life you want (if you live accordingly, that is)

• You’ll choose to work-out instead of staying at home since you value your health
• You’ll live by goals
• You’ll stop watching porn and masturbating
• …

It is basically the blueprint/foundation out of which your actions will flow. 

• When in doubt in a certain situation it will provide you clarity. The logical answer will become clear since you’ve already defined what you value ahead of time.
• When depressed you can re-read it, to regain a sense of significance in your life.
• It will define your perception of the world and structure what you think are “truths”. This view will either create or destroy you, since your beliefs are basically self-fulfilling prophecies

So make sure you’re not building your life on a crappy foundation. Bad decisions come from bad foundations. Bad lives come from bad foundations.

“Aight dude, sounds pretty fancy! Let me build a good foundation then..”

“How do we write this thing?”

1. DOWNLOAD –> My Personal Mission Statement
2. Let’s get to work ↓

1) Identity (Who are you?)

The first part is really really simple (retard-proof simple)

Who do you want to be? 

Don’t stay stuck in old beliefs that ruin your life man. When you think you’re;

• Not confident
• Lazy
• Depressed
• Unworthy
• Unattractive
• Boring
• …

Guess what’s going to happen?

You will be like that.

It’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy. Whatever you believe to be true about yourself is what will become reality for you. So why believe the stuff that destroys your life?

Dis-empowering beliefs get you no-fucking-where in life. Last time I checked, that’s not very far…

They are poison which aims to corrode you from the inside-out.

Solution?

Choose to re-define who you want to be and stop believing all the bullshit you tell yourself. Simple to say, harder to apply.

You can find a more detailed analysis of how to do this in the article above but I’ll give you a short summary of how I approach this;

Re-Defining Yourself

Just change the way you look at yourself by re-defining your beliefs and values.

Over the years we’ve been defined by our environment trough social prejudices and negative experiences

For example;

• When everybody says you’re good looking, what are you going to believe about yourself? –> That you’re good looking.
• When everybody says you’re not confident, guess what you’re going to believe about yourself? –> That you’re not confident.
• When your first experience in dating women was bad, what are you going to believe about yourself? –> That you’re bad with women.
• When you had sex for the first time and it was bad, what are you going to believe about yourself? –> That you suck in bed
• …

Sounds logical?

Many people stay stuck with these beliefs for a great deal of their life, not knowing that they are just based on bad references and that we can actually change them (I’ll write a more in-depth post on changing beliefs in the future) How To Change Disempowering Beliefs And Re-program Your Brain

So what should we do?

The key to re-defining yourself is taking control of this conditioning and just choosing who YOU want to be and how YOU see yourself. 

There’s three steps to re-defining yourself;

1. Do a critical self-reflection
   See where your personal flaws lay (your “bad” character traits and dis-empowering beliefs)
2. Correct your character flaws/limiting beliefs
   We do this by defining the values you want to live by and changing what you WANT to believe about yourself
3. Live it up
   Actually live according to the values and beliefs you’ve set out for yourself.

Assuming an improved identity will be hard to “believe” in the beginning until you’ve build up enough references to actually back your identity up. But you just need to persist in living according to what you want to believe in order to create the references to actually back that belief up.

Makes sense?

For Example:

• You won’t believe you’re good with women until you’ve successfully approached one (or several ones). But you won’t successfully approach them if you don’t believe you can. See the contradiction?

Basically, fake it until you build up enough references to start believing in it. Motion before emotion.

“Act like A King to be treated as one”

 

I’ve talked more in-depth about this topic in the article; How To Define Yourself

2) Purpose (What’s the meaning of your life?)

Lack of purpose is the main cause of depression in our life. People who live in the “modern world” have all their basic needs pretty much satiated. Stuff like food, shelter, sleep and security have robbed our body of its natural instincts and we fall into an “Existential vacuüm”.

we’ve become detached from direction since our instincts are no longer telling us what to do in order to survive.

“Alright, I got food, shelter, sleep and security… What now?”

That’s basically what our body is telling us.

Solution?

Find your purpose… Duh.

If you’ve read “Man’s Search For Meaning” By Viktor Frankl (HIGHLY recommended) you’ll know that a sense of higher meaning can be found trough three things in life;

• In doing some type of work
  > An important “life task”
• By encountering experiences or people
  > People who you would die for or by experiencing “enlightening” events that clarified why you are on earth
• In facing heavy suffering
  > In times of heavy suffering there ‘s the opportunity to “find yourself” by stripping away everything but the bare essentials

So start to ask yourself some key questions to find out what it is! Good questions to start with;

• Why do I want to get out of my bed everyday?
• Who do I want to live for?
• What do I want to live for?
• Why do I want to go trough these struggles of life?
• Why do I want to be alive?

More information on this part can be found in my post on “How To Find Your Purpose”

“I would hate to die and not do what I was born to do” – TD Jakes

3) Vision (How do you see your life?)

We don’t only bullshit ourselves about who we are, but also about how we look at the world (again, trough social conditioning and “bad’ experiences a.k.a. reference experiences).

Go figure that..

Gee, thanks brain…

Again, like in the first part these are limiting beliefs that become self-fulfilling prophecies and basically rob ourselves of everything we want out of life.

“People react not only to the situations they are in, but also, and often primarily, to the way they perceive the situations and to the meaning they assign to these perceptions.

 

Therefore, their behavior is determined in part by their perception and the meaning they ascribe to the situations they are in, rather than by the situations themselves.

 

 

Once people convince themselves that a situation really has a certain meaning, regardless of whether it actually does, they will take very real actions in consequence.”

 

The truth is this: The same way as we define ourself, we define our own reality by shaping the beliefs we have about our world. It shapes how we think about everything

• When you constantly watch the news with their negative headlines, guess what you’re going to believe in the long-term? –> “The world is cruel, violent and a ‘bad’ place
• When you haven’t had a relationship for a long time, what will you believe? –> “Women are scarce and are not interested in me”
• When you haven’t had an exciting life since you didn’t actively pursue excitement , guess what your mind will tell you? –> “There are no opportunities in life”
• When you constantly watch porn, how will this change your perception in the long-term? –> A HUGE penis is what makes “real men” and I can’t satisfy women enough.
• …

See what I mean?

Alright, you might not think the last one (although there are men who do) but I think you agree with me that these self-proclaimed realities are hindering you to get what you want out of life.

And therefore we should (again) take control of this.

• If you want to get fit and you don’t have great genetics, what do you do?
• If you want to find a great girl but you believe they are not interested in you, what will you do?
• What if you want to get a load of money but you believe you need to cheat for that?

Stop this kind of thinking right now. It’s a cage you have build for yourself.

Solution?

Create your own reality

“How Simon?” 

I hear you asking. (yes, I have psychic powers)

This is the same way as we define our-self. What world do you want to believe in? One that’s abundant, rich, joyful and happy or one of great depression?

(That’s a rhetorical question)

Here’s some things I perceive as truth;

For Example

• Women are abundant
• Opportunities are abundant and I can grab them when I want
• I can be a millionaire if I work hard enough in the right direction
• My life can be awesome if I want it to be
• I can have a six-pack if I work for it
• My reality is the best one
• People love me
• Everything I have to say is interesting and valuable
• …

Whenever we condition our-self to believe that the world is great, it will become so. Perception will become reality if we can find enough references to back it up.

Rise above the BS “reality” you’ve been taught by the media to create your own, empowering world.

It’s the only way to be truly fulfilled, happy and all that great stuff.

Again, as with your identity, fake it until you build up enough references to really believe in it. That’s the way we re-program our mind and assume a new reality. (Like I said, I’ll write another post on re-shaping beliefs in the future)

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” – Anaïs Nin

Essence

Alright, that’s your blueprint for life! Pretty straight-forward yet difficult to apply.

So what do I want you to do now?

Write the blueprint for your life already! This 1 hour investment of your time will yield HUGE benefits in the long-term

It has helped me immensely with my confidence, social relations, financial situation, health and so-forth.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to have a solid base (roots) for your life to have a successful life.

Start now! Figure out exactly;

• Your Identity (Who are you?)
  > Re-definine who you want to be
  > Stop believing your conditioned BS and build up new references
• Your Purpose (What’s the meaning of your life?)
  > Find out why you are alive!
• Your Vision (How do you see your life?)
  > Again, create for yourself the world you want to live in!

Writing this down has helped me to get massive clarity in the morning about my life. What kind of person I’m shaping myself into, what the reason is why I get out of bed and my general approach to living.

A code of conduct that will infallibly bring you to where you want to be in life.

So…

What are you waiting for?

—————————————–

If you feel like this post can help anyone out that you know, feel free to share it with your friends or send it in a mail to your mom! It helps me out a lot! If you’re having any thoughts or questions on this topic, feel free to share those with me in the comment section below.

Take care,

Love,
Simon