“Sex: The force for change that has written out the history of world culture.”


All human progress is fueled by desire for sex.

Sex has always been the “ultimate reward”.

Heck, from a biological/evolutionary perspective it’s your sole purpose on this planet.

But by re-wiring this reward-mechanism by porn & excessive masturbation we’ve screwed ourselves over. Instead of striving for this reward through work, we’ve resorted to lesser ways of release.

Leading to a deterioration in life quality.

By consciously directing this reservoir of sexual energy we are able to make great advances in our professional and personal life.

Are you directing yours or spludging it on your bed-sheets?


The Omnipresence Of Sexuality

Let’s face it; sex is pretty much the only reason we do anything.

Although it doesn’t get talked about, it’s subconsciously on everyone’s mind. It’s why people want status, money, fame, friends, looks and so-forth.

People might deny it, but I’m talking about the sub-conscious level. There’s no escaping our pre-programmed nature through logical thought.

“We are merely one of a multitude of species upon which nature indiscriminately exerts its force. Nature has a master agenda we can only dimly know.” ― Camille Paglia

From a biological point of view, reproduction means your “evolutionary success.”

In a sense; if you ain’t “getting some” you’ve failed your only real reason to be alive, really..

You might ignore it, you might avoid it or even justify to yourself it isn’t important (pain-avoiding denial).

But it’s a BIG fucking deal; In the work-place, with your friends, family and especially the media.

It’s an incredibly delicate topic to talk about your attractiveness and successes with the other gender. It proves our “suitability” for reproduction (or otherwise worthlessness). Our reproductive self-worth so to speak.

It’s the main reason people like Kim Kardashian and Jen Selter are so popular make any kind of money. It’s the reason rich men can get hot women.

(I’m not against that, I believe using your reproductive value is obligated. Play the game by the rules)

Here’s how the “sex” game works these days;

  • Man’s main reproductive value is based primarily on his social status and wealth, which is measured through his behavior (confidence, intelligence, character, self-discipline, social skills, …)
  • Women’s main reproductive value is based primarily based on her fertility, measured through her looks (big boobs, big ass, 0.8 hip-to-waist ratio, hair length, hair-color, ovulation …)

Successful men (or potentially successful men) get attractive girls. And vice versa.


And therefore everything in life is directed at acquiring (or faking) those traits. It’s the only motive strong enough to get people to take action.

Wherever you look sex is re-purposed to serve some kind of motive. Whether it’s selling more products, attracting more customers or straight-up pay per view porn.

It’s the ultimate motivator for mankind.

It’s an underlying trend that rarely is addressed in daylight, but is subconsciously on everyone’s mind (NSFW).

What Is Sexual Energy?

So we spent a great deal of our time and energy on producing hormones, producing semen/eggs, spending mental energy on fantasizing about sex and women.

All this combined “desire”, that urge, is called “sexual energy”.

When re-directed, this energy can lead to great productive and creative achievements that can lift us up as human species.

Many human advances (most?) have originated for our hunger for sex.

Patchen barss – on the cover of his book “The Erotic Engine” – argues that ;

“From cave painting to photography to the internet, pornography has always been at the cutting edge in adopting and exploiting new developments in mass communication. And in so doing, it has helped to promote and propel those developments in ways that are rarely acknowledged. Without pornography, the internet would not have grown so quickly.


The e-commerce payment systems that are now commonplace would be at a far more primitive stage security and usability. Without video streaming software developed for pornography sites, CNN would be struggling to deliver news clips. Without advertising from sex sites, Google could not have afforded YouTube.”

Sex gets shit done.

And let’s face it; there’s no motivation greater for a man to try something new if it involves getting his needs met. It allowed new technology to improve & survive the early developing days and become cheaper and more portable over time so it can become available to the mainstream.

So, what’s the problem?

We’re not directing this power, we’re wasting it.

There are two main problems I’ve seen: Excessive masturbation & watching pornography.

Why Is Masturbation Bad?

We spludge our precious energy all over our bed-sheets. Masturbating in a dark corner in front of a screen.

Sexual desire stops motivating since we screw up the incentive by resorting to self-service.

And even more: almost every man masturbates. I don’t know of many friends who consciously abstain from masturbation.


Satisfied needs do not motivate.

Let me repeat that;

Satisfied needs do NOT motivate. 

If you have everything you want at your fingertips (pun intended), guess what’s going to happen?

Exactly: nothing.

More ejaculations = less mating effort.

Why Is Porn Bad?

Porn has become so omnipresent and easily accessible our youth runs into it before they experience the real thing.

With the increasing desensitization to porn we need more and more extreme measures to even get hard with real girls.

Here’s my take on whole this mess;

Sexual satisfaction shouldn’t be achieved virtually but only in reality. Instant sexual satisfaction has become so easily accessible through the internet that modern society has become obsessed by it. We’ve stopped caring about the real thing and have become so desensitized about sex that it has led to unnatural extremes.

In some countries and with some men, pornography has taken a heavy toll. They’ve become so addicted to instant gratification and masturbation that they just can’t get turned on by “normal” girls at all.

They’ve become convinced that porn and masturbation is better than the real thing. They’d rather gratify themselves in the comforts of their own home than go out and approach a girl on the street.

It makes you lazy, unmotivated, depressed and addicted even.


Bottom line;

Porn screws up your brain and life

Why Harness Sexual Energy?

Here’s my experience with porn, masturbation and ejaculations.

The more I ejaculate, the lazier I get. That’s the bottom line really.

I get tired, fatigued and lethargic. I feel weak.

Your semen is the energy/resources (sexual energy) necessary that drives your desire to do shit. Without it, you’re just not looking to get anything done. You’re already “emptied out” without your animal drive, pushing you to excel.

You got low testosterone and no “desire”

Here’s the story of a person who lost all his testosterone and describes what it feels like.

Testosterone is the hormone of desire. And by that, I don’t mean sexual desire. I mean desire, period.


Everything that I identify as being me, my ambition, my interest in things, my sense of humor, the inflection in my voice, the quality of my speech even changed in the time that I was without a lot of the hormone.


I had no interest in even watching TV, much less reading the newspaper or a book. Food, I didn’t want my food to taste good or interesting.


It changes everything I know as my self. (From the Transcript)

Napoleon Hill
addressed this sexual energy in his book “Think And Grow Rich”;

When driven by this desire, men develop keenness of imagination, courage, will-power, persistence, and creative ability unknown to them at other times. So strong and impelling is the desire for sexual contact that men freely run the risk of life and reputation to indulge it.


When harnessed, and redirected along other lines, this motivating force maintains all of its attributes of keenness of imagination, courage, etc., which may be used as powerful creative forces in literature, art, or in any other profession or calling, including, of course, the accumulation of riches.” – Napoleon Hill, TAGR

Or like David Deida said in “The Way Of The Superior Man;

“As you live your life with more and more true
purpose, you won’t accumulate so much tension during the day.
Then, you will discover that ejaculation, for the most part, actually depletes and weakens you.


It feels great for a few moments, but the price you pay for the
genital sneeze of ejaculation is a much higher level of mediocrity
in your daily life. You will find that you just don’t have the extra
gusto necessary to live your life with utter impeccability. Excess
ejaculations pave the road to living a good life, but not a great

In a subtle way, excess ejaculations will diminish your courage
to take risks, professionally and spiritually. You will settle for
doing enough to get by, to be comfortable, but you will find that
you would rather watch TV than write your novel, meditate, or
make that important phone call.


You will have enough motivation to live a decent life, but ejaculations drain you of the “cutting through” energy that is necessary to pierce your own wall of lethargy and slice through the obstructions that arise in the world.” – David Deida, WOTSM


So… how can you cultivate your sexual energy?

How To Harness Sexual Energy?

If you want to get better results in your life, don’t spill your seed on useless matters. Cultivate it and transform this energy into creative force that will bring you more substantial results after a while.

The Taoists said that you should limit ejaculations to increase longevity, focus and vitality.

“In sexual love relations a man should permit himself to ejaculate 2 to 3 times out of 10 times of sex to preserve his “life force”

Abstinence – not from sex – but ejaculation is the key to doing this.

You should NOT live a sexless life. Sex and orgams are  necessary for a great mood and life satisfaction. It also energizes you to take on bigger the challenges.

It’s the emission of your seed that’s the problem. It drains you.

Here are the rules;

  1. No Ejaculations

That’s all.

You can still have sex and orgasms but fewer ejaculations. It’s the replenishment of the seed that requires all the energy.

It’s the gift of life for the next generation that you’re wasting.

“Huh? I can have sex and orgasms but no ejaculations? What’s that for black magic?” – You, being confused

Here’s how you can separate the two;

How To Separate Orgasm & Ejaculation?

Ejaculation and orgasm can be separated by contracting the pc muscles (the same you use to hold back pee when you need to go to the bathroom). If you’ve never done this before it’s going to be incredibly awkward during sex.

So this is what I would advice initially;

Solo Practice 

Masturbate until just before “the point of no return.” But take your time for it. It’s not about coming but about practice. Masturbation sessions should last about 20 to 30 minutes. Incrementally work towards it.

Here are some tips;

  • Be sure to keep your body completely relaxed whilst you do this, don’t tense your body. The more you put tension on your body, the faster you’ll cum.
  • Breath slowly. Our degree of arousal is closely link with the speed at which we breath. Try to breath 5 seconds in, hold for two, and breath out for five again.
  • If you get close to the point of no return. Stop everything and do 10 full, strong contractions as you were trying to hold in your pee. Let the arousal wane a bit
  • Repeat this 15 times. Don’t ejaculate.
  • Coconut oil – thank me later.

After a while you’ll be able to surpass the point of no return  whilst keeping your pc muscles tightened, stopping the ejaculation but not the orgasm. As a result your penis will stay hard, won’t be extremely sensitive and you won’t have the refractory period (recovery period).

Basically, you’re good to go again.

Eventually, you’ll be able to do this during sex which will give you much more satisfaction, make you feel more energized and hornier than ever.

More driven imo.

Additionally, you’re able to remain hard and orgasm multiple times (my record is 6 solo, three during sex #TMI). Your girl will be able to get multiple orgasms too, since you can last (almost) indefinitely, which makes her more confident, perform better and happier.

And who doesn’t love seeing their girl enjoy herself?


Best of both worlds eh?

Sex Practice

By training your pc muscles during solo practice you’ll incrementally get better at controlling and restraining your ejaculation to the point you can last indefinitely. You can practice solo as a warm-up for “the real thing”.

During sex, when you get close to the point of no return, use what is called “locking the gate

  1. Stop thrusting, hold your breath, squueze your pc muscles tightly and retreat (so only your tip is inside your girl).
  2. Take a deep breath and hold it, then do 10 rapid, strong contractions of your pc muscles, anal sphincter and your glutes.
  3. Clench your teeth, press tongue against roof of mouth
  4. Straighten your neck and back
  5. Clench fists
  6. Exhale after contractions (repeat cycle if necessary)

Just talk about it with your girl that you would like to “try something new.”

By preserving your semen and opting for dry orgasms (good) over spludge orgasms (bad) you’ll get the following benefits;

  • You can have multiple orgasms
  • She can have multiple orgasms
  • You don’t have energy/motivation drains from ejaculations
  • You can last indefinitely (almost at least)
  • You feel more driven (that’s what I’ve noticed)
  • It increases testosterone (study)
  • Other noted benefits, courtesy of reddit


Less ejaculations = more energy and desire to do shit.

Don’t waste your precious seed in front of a stupid screen but go out and get a grip on life (and not your dick). In the end it’s definitely worth a shot, even if you think it’s not going to do much good.

Also: You need a creative exhaust for your sexual energy to be channeled into something more productive: a company, a passion, a blog or a project you’re working on. Otherwise it will find lesser ways of release. 

Men are builders – so you should be building shit.

Here’s what you do, even if you’re not that into it;

Try it for 30 days using my 30-day Challenge Calendar and see if you don’t notice any improvements. My recommendations;

  • Don’t masturbate nor watch porn at all for 30 days.
  • Practice the solo dry orgasms through masturbating x amounts of days for 30 days.
  • Practice the sex dry orgasms with your girl (but don’t ejaculate) for 30 days

Report back how you feel on this post.

Ultimately, the goal is to feel alive and energized AND have a fulfilling sex life in the end. I think this is the way to go.

Additional Resources you should check;

Dave Asprey & Christopher Ryan on the nature of human sexuality;


Thanks for reading this post on cultivating your sexual energy. If you think this article can help out a chronic masturbator you know, be sure to pass it around ;) Anyway, if you’re having any more thoughts or questions on this topic, feel free to leave a comment in the section below.

Note: I’m (fairly) active on Twitter now. I think there’s too much “noise” on Facebook.

Take care & stay strong.

– S

NoteNote: Cool Song

Tags : desireenergysexsexual energysexual transmutationtestosteroneurgewantingwomen

The author SimonSomlai


  • 1) No spam, no link-pasting, excessive swearing or destructive feedback.
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  • 3) Comment with your first name
  • 4) Don't argue with strangers when it doesn't affect your life quality.


  1. Whats up man!!!very funny on that no ejaculation part on how to stop it but why did you put that video on the top.dont you think men will be horny and masturbate seeing doing no fap and suddenly my brain was excited.all im trying to say is that i think you should remove it.suggestion from me.leave it or take it.and nice work i liked it.very good

  2. Masochist,
    I believe the author has a point with, the idea that we waste our energy instead of sublimating it towards something worthy, but the part that turns stupid is when he encourages solo practice without busting a nut.

  3. very nice lesson sorry for a male can he stay without meeting with his girlfriend for a year??

  4. Hey, all that is great if your a man…but what if your a woman with the same problem?
    Like EXACTLY the same problem – minus the penis and testosterone?
    Too much porn, and masterbation…lack of motivation or really the desire to fuck because masterbation is better and more efficient. Plus-I don’t have to do my hair and make up (and be sexy and charm some dude who will probably end up having a small dick and wont make me cum either way) and go home feeling like a flesh-lite or something after.
    So like I feel like I am cripplingly horny all the time, lately I have a hard time being driven to do anything productive or possitive because I am so distracted by it. Then when I do masterbate its only good until I cum and then I feel shitty because its over and I realize I didnt create anything better to do with my day anyways. Then since I’m not like running out the door motivated to great things with my life (even though I have all kinds of shit I should be doing) … I end up doing it all over again an hour later. It fucking sucks.
    I can’t do the “masterbate without ejaculation thing” because I don’t ejaculate… I rub until I cum.
    I feel like this behavior is ruining my life, or at least not improving it.
    Any advice for me?

    I found this article by googling “how to turn sexual energy into something useful”
    And this article was the closest result to addressing my issue.

  5. Thanks sir for this great article.
    I have a question, where did the semen/sperm go after a dry orgasm? is it go into the bladder or it’s get back into the prostate?

  6. This guy only talks basics and not in detail. Look into Mantak Chia he teaches you the right way, and really pleasurable.

  7. i expected something for man and women or whatever. but instead it’s just directed at men obviously but without being warned, i feel excluded and it gets on my nerves that something that important is not in the title and bitter, that for you this is surely very normal and natural.

    1. yes in our society ejaculation is very often used in context to our male counterparts. nonetheless you can apply all mentioned exercises as a female, you’ve probably heard about the benefits of pelvic floor exercises ;-) ….if not im happy to tell u a few haha. so even though the vocabulary in this article is directed at men, it just as much covers us ladies ;-) the only part i object is that “masturbation is bad”. my view is that it depends on your personal situation& why u do it, its a great “tool” to explore your own physical sexuality, something extremely important as it not only helps you to get to know yourself but also gives you more confidence& understanding of personal needs&desires for the times that you have sex with a partner. so in a way, masturbation is not “bad”, its quite the opposite. however what is bad, is if we use it as a “quickfix”, without any understanding of sexual energy. or as bandaid to cover up real emotions&issues that are much better of explored and expressed. but then in saying that, the same applies to the use of hallucinogens (in current societys terms “drugs”),alcohol, diet and anything else used to cover up and hide the real truth. i hope this helps ;-)

    2. There is for girls. Using a jade egg, to make your uterus stronger and actually help your partner have better control, sensitivity, and stopping him from ejaculating. Look into taoist practices for woman, every woman should do this in general.

      Also some breathing, meditation, breast massaging(to pass alot of energy around the body and organs) There amazing, me and my girl of 13 years have been doing it for 2 months now, and it’s fucken amazing. We have sex alot like we were teens again. The same intensity, maybe even more extreme then before, to be honest.if anyone has fertility issues, there is no doubt this shit will make you very fertile.

  8. Hi guys, i just wanted to share my experience. I have been about 145 days without watching porn and masturbating. I been practicing the excercises recommended in the article i can insure you, my life is full of energy, i am changing to fullfill all my dreams and porpouses in life. Sexual energy is the energy that sustains the world. When i do the love act with my girlfriend, it is magical and i can last very long without ejaculating. I admit i was a porn addict and consecuently i had nervous problem that made me realize i had to change. I struggled, it was tremendously difficult in my case, but for the one that is reading this, YOU CAN ALSO DO IT. The impossible only exists in your mind. With love, method, adquiring a habit and by never giving up you can do it my friend. LOVE MY FRIENDS :)

  9. I’ve been experimenting with this for about a year now and in all honesty, i don’t actually like the pc muscle flexing. It’s too much hard work and too much thinking when your supposed to only be feeling and surrendering to the pleasure. Flexing the pc muscle on purpose all the time actually makes you ejaculate. But I suppose knowledge only goes so far. Plus people concentrate on reading someone else’s idea on how to do It, who read it from someone else and on and on, instead of listening to their own body. Remember There’s many roads to the same destidestination. Now this is for both men and women to do. The mistake people make when hitting the point of no return is to stop and flex the pc muscle. Don’t stop! Don’t flex and damn thing. You want to relax your pc muscle as much as possible. The trick is, when you get to the point of no return, because the intensity has been amped up, you have to slow down your stroking speed so you don’t spill over, but keep the intensity. The more intense the sexual energy like your about to cum, the slower you stroke your cock. Now, when you do that, boom!, you’ve hit a new level of pleasure because now you’ll be riding the point just before the point of no return and that potent energy will make you breathe deeper and harder and the energy will be flowing through your body more and more. Your body will start to tingle, convulse and vibrate. The energy will calm down eventually but will recycle and start again if you carry on stroking yourself. It’s quite wonderful. All this flexing the muscle are from people who have been told or read the info quite poorly. It’s a very hard and long way round to something right in front of you face. Women should pick this up easier because their natural feelers but men practice. When you hit the the point of no return, be a man, don’t retreat, face it head on and slow down your strokes very slowly because the energy is that much, that sometimes you will be barely moving your hand because of the potency of your energy. It will naturally make you breathe deep because you’ll be riding this quality energy for awhile. That’s my two cents. Cool

  10. Sir,

    I use this technique as given below :

    I watch porn to get erction or attimes think of pleasuring thoughts for the same. At the point of no return I stop the porn and apply Maha Bandha (triple lock) i.e PC muscles lock, Diaphragm lock, neck lock sitting on a chair and focus my thought on the achievements or dream I want. I do this for 6 days abstaining from ejaculation. On the seventh day I masturbate by looking at porn and when there is a point of no return I quickly shift my thought on my dreams & achievements & realize my fluid to joy. I feel difficult to carry beyond 7 days absatining from ejaculation. Do you think it is a good process ? I mean I am also using ejaculation to follow my dreams.

    Need your valuable comments and suggestions

    1. My dear friend, i was a porn addict for almost seven years, and my final limit was when my hands started to tremble because of nervous problems due to porn. It is about achieving the habit with patience. My recommendation for you is to stop watching porn. Don´t watch it anymore; it is difficult but try. Get a girl and have sex without ejaculatin; it is difficult but with practice you can do it. That is my humble opinion. Love my friend :)

  11. A very much desired desire stands fulfilled.I am extremely thankful to you for the amazingly true picture explained so clearly and the path to be followed to be happy in life with humility and confidence simultaneously-Thank you-Thank you-Thank you-Achintya Shukla

  12. I have a question on inejaculation process and it will be better for me to get the answer from a person who practises it.l am inejaculating the semen in my wet dreams for last 7,8 dreams and is it good for the brain to fill it with and can i inejaculate in all my wet dreams if it is good for the brain and i do not practise masturbation from last 4years.l want to know the knowledge about harnessing the semen.After 3or 4 dreams i have inejaculated i feel some anger and lot of power in my brain ,is it usual or unusual if unusual so please give me some procedure of harnessing it in wet dreams i will be very grateful to you.And please let me know about the precautions taken in the inejaculation process as i want to preserve that sexual vital fluid.

  13. I’ve been practicing this dry masturbation thing but after like two weeks I seem to be so horny that I can’t stop the ejaculation at the point of no return. Do you have any recommendations on how I can make sure I last longer? I’m always mad at myself when I fail at this.

  14. Mainly is a good article .I practiced this technique myself and i reccommand it, BUT there s a warning.Your sexual desire will grow and u want even more sex.If u don t have a partner it might be frustrating because after a while in your mind will be only one thing SEX. MY ADVICE : learn it and forget about it .Use it every time u have sex or masturbate.

  15. I have a question, when you said you will be able to surpass the point of no return whilst keeping your pc muscles tightened does it mean that with practice I will be able to continue masturbating without stopping and meanwhile I have to keep my pc muscles tightened to reach a non ejaculatory orgasm?

    1. (imo)

      No, when you surpass the point of no return it’s best to pause a bit and just focus on contracting your pc muscle until the orgasm has passed. It’s a lot harder not to ejaculate when you’re still stroking.

      It could be that some magical tantra masters can do this, I haven’t really tried it that much tbh because of the risk of getting tired again.

  16. This article should be entitled to specifically identify the fact that it is for men. It is basically useless to women (which is fine), so the broad, promising title is quite a disappointment for a sexually frustrated female once the article has begun.

    I am thrilled you are informing men about how to form a useful relationship with their pelvic floor that is long overdue.

    However lovely, your writing embodies the biggest problem caused by a social construct that exists and exuberantly reaffirms to this day.

    Men and women are NOT that different past a biomechanical view.

    This article discusses women as sex objects, because that is all we are to our sexist culture. I don’t blame you for your ignorance, you are a product of lives that tell both men and women how the “should” live and what “should” interest them from the moment of birth. As detailed in your article, men live to achieve, and women exist to be attractive to men. Look at the media; when was a strong independent woman with goals, thoughts, or a “destiny” of her very own last portrayed without her motivation ultimately being reduced down to one encircling a man?

    I challenge you, as the talented experimentalist and artist you appear to be, to reassess your understanding of the sexual and power dynamics of the world. Your intelligence will enable you to see the truth. Therefore, I call upon you to spread reality and the broad picture through your writing.

    Choose to be a force of the empowerment of women, not a cog in this ancient system of repression.

    1. Women are already empowered enough. Men have been left to themselves to figure shut out and now that they are starting to, many women hate it. They wanted weak men that have been declawed and no longer a threat so now that men are waking up, there is an element within the ranks of women – the “oppressed” that want to control it so they will ultimately be the one to benifit from it. Women were supposed to be the force to awaken men. But the rally cry of oppression keeps them asleep in even while they have far exceeded men on many levels. Now men are doing it by themselves and finding their independence and personal power. Many women probably don’the want to see that happen.

    2. Rather than complaining about what this article doesn’t reference, why don’t you do some research and write an article on the same topic but for women? Seems like the empowering solution-oriented thing to do.

      Choose to be a force of empowerment of women, by being proactive and capitalizing upon opportunities available to EVERYONE, rather than sulking in self pity. Thanks.

  17. Sacrificing the seed is great in other words not spiling it … It works for me I feel great, full of energy and I am more aware that I am that I am that I am

  18. Will stopping the flow of my pee whenever I use the bathroom build up my PC Muscles? Trying to learn how to orgasm with spilling my seed. I think this will help me retain longer. I’m 3 months into my Semen Retention.

    1. man i dont think that sounds healthy.. pee is like bad stuff in your body that needs to get out

      1. Thanks for the reply. I’ve been retaining for about 5 or 6 months now(not counting anymore). My energy level has been much better. Oddly, I’m not super horny Lol. It comes and goes, but its easy to deal with.

  19. Hi
    Interesting article; however I was hoping for some advice for me but I’m female hahahaha. Am I right in guessing it’s the same kind of advice in just not ejaculating? At the moment I seem to masterbate whenever I get stressed over Uni work and wasting precious time it’s really disheartening. Do you have any advice specifically for women?

    1. The best thing is not to masturbate when you are stressed at all. It is a not an waste of time, but a waste of precious cosmic energy at the wrong vibe. I used to do the same. By my self experience, masturbation is not a solution for stress, it could make things worse and bring worse vibes. The best way is to learn to be detached from certain situations and see it as just another day to be overcame, simple to talk, simpler to do (once learnt). To be honest, men and women are two completely different beings at good a few things, since we are opposites, fundamentally who love & need each other( in general). Listen to Alan Watts or go to watch some good movie, or listen to music, or even better, do some simple sport or hobby activities. This energy should be used only with other person in flesh or doing some brainy/physical activities. I can text here on and on… There is something about the women’s side at one of the links that he left here. Remember, opposites, Yin & Yang, water & oil, Bright & and the absence of light, Female & Male, blah blah blah… But yes do it all in balance, don’t get too crazy, do what makes you happy, keep achieving something. Because wherever humans may be, we will always be able to give one more step.


    2. Hey Anji,

      I have really no idea lol.

      I’d say experiment!

      If you find that you’re getting depleted/exhausted from too many orgasms, try to take a period off (30 days), see how you feel and re-evaluate. Or is it just the time-waste you’re worried about?

      I have no experience being a woman, so I really can’t say.

  20. First, thank you for your article. There is so much truth in what you are saying even though I would have liked for things to be different. My problem that there were times when I decided to stop from masturbation but then after some days it became difficult for me to have an erection, although I would wake up in the morning with a full sized erection. Why is this? Thank you very much. I appreciate your answer as this has always baffled me.

    1. I’m not sure I understand your problem.

      You mean that you expect to have more frequent erections during the day or that you have difficulty getting one during sex/when masturbating?

  21. Great article, thank you very much for sharing. Started a week ago And feeling great and empowered. Only one question, how to manage or avoid blue balls? In these days while doing solo, I’ve experienced bit of pain on the groin arra afterwards, nothing naughty but maybe can get worst, any advice? Thanks so much again and have a good one!

    1. Hey Eno,

      Good to here everything is going great! I’d say have a dry orgasm then as fast as possible. If it becomes unbearable (I’ve had it before) just have a regular one.

  22. Hello, I have read the article. Since when I was 11 or 12 I have often thought that masturbation was bad. I didn’t feel guilty or things like that but I felt always different after doing it. Especially for things I wanted to do before and after, this is the same in sex. Those things we see in porn we would like to do very much before, but after we cum everything really changes. I have had erection problems in the beginning with girls. I have been lucky with them, they all were patient and kind and they told me to try to relax. I didn’t feel anxious though, but I felt that I didn’t REALLY want to have sex in that moment, I mean it wasn’t a big deal in that moment. That’s also why it never was such a big problem for me. I suffered more for the lack of desire than for the failing. I started to feel hypocrite when in the afternoon I felt desire and instantly satisfied it and in the evening or night went to parties and try to explain to myself why I wasn’t so interested in girls. I have had a relation for a couple years, it’s over now, and after a while (like a month) I did not have problems anymore, even with other girls (oops). But I felt sometimes that me and my girlfriend had too much sex and it never got so special (1-2 per day, we lived together). Anyways it’s over now and I felt that I wanted to change my relationship with sex and desire. I think I have been off masturbating for a week now and I am having a REALLY tough time trying to study. I have a couple girls I could try to date but I’m trying to wait for the right time, like a party, to not seem desperate. Studying is my priority now and I would like to ask if I should begin the solo practice. I don’t understand if you have to do 30 days off masturbating and then 30 day more of solo practice. I don’t know if I have to “detox” from masturbation for a longer time, but I would hate to think that I could fail again in bed with a girl and then blame the masturbation. I just want to feel alive and with desire and I would like to be in the mood that makes me understand a girl saying (this really happened) “I would like to have sex with you in the whole kitchen”, and not think “well why couldn’t we just lay comfortably in the bed?”. I am in that mood right now but I have hard times studying. I have got max score on most of my exams while masturbating in need these years. What do you say, Simon?

    1. 1) Please use tabs – it makes comments waaay more readable.

      I have had erection problems in the beginning with girls.

      Mostly it’s a mindset issue and you’re too nervous. It – indeed – goes away if you’re able to relax enough.

      it’s over now, and after a while (like a month) I did not have problems anymore

      Awesome results! Glad you’re improving!

      I am having a REALLY tough time trying to study

      Like the article states; You need a creative exhaust for your sexual energy to be channeled into something more productive, other wise it’s going to look for lesser ways of release. You’re probably getting increasingly hornier (good thing).

      Summer and short skirts make it even harder, no pun intended.

      Do the solo practice without ejaculating as mentioned in the article, you’ll feel better more relaxed and productive. Do some output-work (writing, painting, running, producing something, …) instead of solely input-work (studying, reading, …)

  23. Not ejaculating definitely does not drain my mental energy (it takes at least 5 times less energy), so I feel like a new man in this respect. I can recommend this to anyone. And it is quite easy to stop your ejaculation, just train for some time stopping your urine several times while peeing (especially when your bladder is quite full). The same muscle is involved. I didn’t actually train the PC muscle at all but some people will probably need a little practice.

    Simon, thank you for your answer and for the good article!

  24. Hi,

    It’s me again. I tried stopping the ejaculation and I can do it multiple times and I stay in a preorgasmic state for a long time, even my legs start shaking from time to time (like some women when squirting or having a strong orgasm). But at the moment I stop the ejaculation there is no orgasm whatsoever. Is this normal? It brings the arousal a little bit down, and I can again quickly reach the point of no return, or slow down and reach it later. So to sum it, I can get into a long pre-orgasmic state, but without any strong real orgasm when stopping the ejaculation. And I don’t stop too early. Even the first time I stopped somewhat late and leaked about 1 ml of semen.

    Any comments are welcome.

    1. From my experience; orgasm mostly feels about 30% less intense + you won’t have the sensation of actually ejaculating/emptying out.

      But the fact you can have multiple orgasms (infinite), don’t get tired after and can last longer in bed makes up for that IMO.

      Low amount of semen ejaculation is fine. It doesn’t produce the downside of full-on blast.

  25. Hi Simon,

    I otherwise have very little psychic/mental energy for years now (some call it Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or CFS), which is probably caused by lots of anxiety/stress/overwork. This energy is necessary for thinking, reading, talking, listening, watching and many other things. So I’m now trying to decrease my anxiety (as a doctor advised) and see if that helps.

    In recent years, just one ejaculation drains my mental energy and makes me feel totally sick for a few days, with a constant headache, fatigue, etc., as if I’ve drunk too much alcohol the night before.

    So I have intentionally masturbated to orgasm/ejaculation not more than 10 times in total during the last 3 years. My sex drive is quite normal. By the way, in the past (10-15 years ago) I could masturbate once a day on average with no serious bad after effects.

    I haven’t tried non-ejaculatory orgasms yet (may try them soon).

    So, my question is – in order not lose so much of my mental energy through ejaculating, I have sometimes tried quite long masturbation sessions, 5-30 minutes (mostly through stimulating the balls, nipples and less so the penis), which feel quite good. I used to stop earlier than the point of no return (intentionally trying not to get too close). Do you think this is bad practice? That is – getting very horny and then stopping prior to orgasm. Or is it similar to a non-ejaculatory orgasm, i.e. with no ill effects as well?


    1. Hey Jim,

      I haven’t tried non-ejaculatory orgasms yet (may try them soon).

      Best of both worlds!

      Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or CFS

      Heard that before yeah, sound like an incredible pain in the ass. Energy is vital for everything. Managing energy is the key to success. Optimize it as best as possible man, with the circumstances you’re in.

      Or is it similar to a non-ejaculatory orgasm, i.e. with no ill effects as well?

      From personal experience I’ve found it’s only the ejaculation (seed) that causes mental fatigue, not the arousal nor the orgasm. I guess this might depend from individual to individual, but in my book that doesn’t count nor makes me fatigued

      I’d say rub on!

  26. I think not losing the essential energy from ejaculation will give oneself more ommph than eating all the nutritious food out there. Besides, I think exercising only helps to regulate the flow of chi or energy in the body but if your body only have so much energy left after ejaculation, there’s only so much chi left for exercising to do its job. That’s why I think it’s important to plug the “leak”.

    1. I remember when I was 20 (34 now), I was a lost case to my family (always giving me disappointing and pessimist advises). I was born in a working class family. Which didn’t make me stop dreaming , achieving and using self philosophies (loads of questioning). Once I was thinking (without reading anywhere, since I had no internet) ” wow, where comes from all this energy from ejaculation, and where it all is going to end, I feel pretty lazy and with low energy after ejaculating… can I hold or preserve it?… Look at my belly fat (skinny guy with belly fat) all around my belly, I like to see and have my six pack…”

      At that time I only used to dream wank, work and do nothing to achieve what I most wanted – leave Brazil, have a family, and do a college course, which my family (father) never believed I could do the college thing and leave Brazil. But that made me even stronger, not to prove him, but to achieve what I always wanted. So back to my 20yo, after the energy conclusion. I rarely masturbated, I just took my arse and stood up, focusing on things to achieve my goal, then I thought: ” First okay this belly has to go, but I don’t like running or doing pitch games (soccer). But I always liked BMX and surfing board, however I got bored by skateboard, due to its limitation at that the time. So yes, BMX was more accessible, and I loved the way I could go faster than SK8 and higher. It sounded more fun to me, so I started to order the parts and I put my BMX together… ” so I did it until my 27 yo ( I still do it at times, on my rare free times). The ” everyone needs a car & a girl friend + time for parties ” had to go to… So BMX and music were the substitute for it, and it saved me a tone of money to leave Brasil and save for studies. Thanks for the direction of the sex desire into other things.

      All of this still at my 20s, I finished my pending high school to prepare me for college, and do the course I always wanted to do (thinking about it since I was 16). I left home ( started living with my grandma for 3 years), learned how to play bass guitar, played in a hardcore band, I did daily exercise (becoming ripped/nice fit), finished my high school on my 24, while working as plumber for 7 months, then I became a qualified welder for 2.6 yrs. Meanwhile, I did a private English course for 18 months, and on my 26 I left Brazil. Now I am in Ireland since 2007, I have had a successful professional BMX company in 2008 (Not operating since 2013), I am with a sweet daughter. And now for the sake of my stubbornness, I am working as a supervisor in a convenience store, because that was the only way to be doing the Engineering course (Automation Engineering) that I always wanted to do, even though, I was super lazy about maths, and I am still a little bit lazy about math, but that details are being worked, after reading this article and absorbing some useful knowledge. An busy life now, but it is fun.

      It is very useful to learn to separate things and be organised to achieve such goals. Also some of the less important things has to be left behind, such as not having a girlfriend or loose connection with people that aren’t your best friends or motivators, a few little sacrifices has to be done…. but my path isn’t still finished, I sill have a lot to do or build. Yes we are gods of architecture, since we can build or create almost anything. This line is told in a text from this poem: ”Go all the way – Charles Bukowski Poem ” search on youtube.


      Andreas Gross.

      May Light be Upon You – BOTA

      1. May Light be Extend Upon Yourself*

        Ps.: Facebook and other distractions had to go to at this present day. So only studying is the priority now. Not only studying things from college but other personal things too.

  27. hi simon,
    i am on a streak anf its 26th day…last night i had a sex dream woke up and saw my worst fear come true…it was semen…..
    i had a wet dream…..
    does this means that i am not transmuting my sex energy properly….
    or does this means that i have lost some part of the energy that i’ve been conserving from all these days…

    moreover ,will my progress be unaffected or not…….
    please reply…

    1. Hey,

      Nope, wet dreams are fine.

      It’s like a bucket spilling-over. Consider your sexual energy is full at that point and your body just gets rid of the excess which is produced.

  28. I looked this up and found this article. Everything it says is true. I use to masterbate 2 times a day on avg. I stopped not for my religious reasons but personal. I also have refrained from sex. I originally did it because I was beginning to go bald. My hair was thinning and I felt like it was because of my masrerbation.(Don’t judge) Long story short, on like the 5 the day I went into work, females hit on me more then usual. Im fairly attractive but they seemed to all like feel something. Ppl seemed to gravitate to me more. One girl asked me what’s wrong with you? Something seems different. The whole day I felt vitalized. I felt stronger. After work I felt the need to lift weights. I kept telling myself I would do it, but I actually did. I became more confident as some more days went by. No lie I felt invincible. Nothing could phase me. Idk if there really is a direct correlation but I’m on day 10 and I’ve never felt more aware, happy, and overall powerful.

  29. Hey simonsomlai

    This is really a fascinating aand a mind opening article , I am so lucky to land to this page due to the fact that I just started nofap journey and still I am 19 so I am gonna chanel my enegy for the things that are important for me and to get a new grip on life.

    Take home advice is this:” Don’t waste your precious seed in front of a stupid screen but go out and get a grip on life (and not your dick).”

    But I have one question.Isn’t harmful to squeeze your pc muscle when you are at point of NO RETURN


    1. Hey Sean,

      Great to hear that!

      I have no real medical training in this (so be cautious with my advice), but as long as you’re only using the muscles to hold your semen back it seems to be safe. When you are pushing your perineum point you have a chance to get a retrograde ejaculation (which, over the longterm isn’t that healthy from my knowledge)

      I suggest reading some more about it;

      > The Multiorgasmic Man ( the book)
      > reddit

  30. Hey…its really great to enjoy pleasure endlessly while not losing semen but. .during dry orgasm prostrate liquid (one with transparent colour & one which lubricates the flow of semen) releases in tiny quantity.

  31. Good and inspiring article, Simonsomal. It helps the modern desperate young studs who waste their seed by addiction to porn. Can you suggest a few more ideas to make performance better!!!!!!

  32. Hi Simon,

    Just waned to say that you’ve done well with this article, you bring up a lot of good points and I completely agree with the fact that masturbation lowers motivation.

    However from a scientific standpoint your point about reducing ejaculation is completely inaccurate. Most men can remain completely fertile for their entire life due to their sperm constantly replenishing,

    “It’s the gift of life for the next generation that you’re wasting.”
    We’ll actually nothing’s being wasted.

    Aside from that, good article.

    Cheers, Damien.

    1. Hey Damien,

      It indeed comes down to the wording. It isn’t totally wasted – you’ll just have to go through a period of “recharging” before you feel 100% motivated imo. Fertility does decrease somewhat as sperm count decreases with an increased frequency in ejaculation – but overall that’s pretty negligible (I think I’ve read that somewhere)

      Thank for the input – hope to see you around!

  33. Hi Simon,

    Great post! I am inspired by your article and have taken up the nofap challenge and its been 10 days since I have not watched masturbated.

    However, I have one question, I’m sure you’d have had this issue as well. One of the reasons why I would Mbate was because I would cum in my sleep and it will be very frustrating to see a patch on my boxers often,

    Mbating regularly helped to avoid embarrassment from nocturnal emissions and I got addicted to it.

    Can you tell me if you had this issue or share how you overcame this ? because three days into the nofap it happened and left me frustrated but did not dampen my spirits.



    1. Hey JK,

      Congrats on 10 days already! :)

      I see wet dreams as natural emissions of too much sexual energy. It’s like a bucket tipping over after it has collected too much water. It’s impossible to avoid.

      Keep the bucket full – spillover (wet dreams) is fine.

      I get them about once each week – I just throw my boxers in the wash-machine or sleep naked (especially summer)

      If by embarrassment you mean; “my mom might know I spludged my boxers”.

      Yeah that’s awkward…. But the less of a deal you make out of it the easier it goes away. Situations are really only as awkward as you make it yourself.

      Hope that helped!

      Take care,

      1. He he…..Thank you for your comments Simon :)

        I will remember that and align myself accordingly.



      2. Not fine, according to taoist masters ejaculating is bad (sex with ghosts) but wet dreads are even worst. Skip Mantak Chia and go to the source. Also the quality of sperm decreases if you don’t ejaculate and according to scientific studies it’s not good to keep old semen “in store”, stagnation always leads to problems. From my personal experience these are very serious practices and should not be taken lightly. You can very easily rupture a blood vessel (i did that already) and ejaculate blood, get prostate problems (i have calcinated spots on my prostate) due to prolonged abstention and retention.
        Besides that, yes it’s all that you’ve wrote and more.

  34. A great in-depth post, as usual.
    I’m sure when feminists notice it, you’ll be crucified. Because, you know, men think about sex 50 times more often than women. Do you suggest we have 50:1 “building this world” ratio you male chauvinist pig?

    1. Héhé – I’ll keep that for my next article;

      “Why men are godlike, superior beings in every aspect and why women should stay within a 10-feet radius of the kitchen”

      I’m still working on the title..

  35. Hi Simon,

    Very interesting article. I’m actually 93 days into my nofap journey. I started this journey because I experienced porn induced erectile disfunction when I first started dating my girlfriend and tried having sex for the first time… Impotence is with worse feeling I have ever felt.

    When this happened I did some research and was shocked to find out that I was an addict. I was a popular, athletic college student and realized that I hadn’t had the drive to have sex with a real person the entire four years of college because I was addicted to porn. I had been masterbating to porn once or twice a day from 17-22 year-old. So sad looking back at it but it has motivated me to become the best version of myself and now my brain is rewiring and will eventually surpass all my friends who still masterbate to porn… which is pretty much all of my friends…

    Since starting nofap and cutting porn out of my life, I now have more attraction to REAL girls and my erections are getting firmer with my girlfriend. We still haven’t had sex yet but the progress is making me hopeful that I will eventually become a sexual monster once I limit my ejaculations and stop porn forever. There is always hope!

    The same brain that rewired my sexual abilities to only porn can rewire back to the real thing. I call it, rebooting your brain to factory settings. Have you done a lot of reading on neuroplasticity Simon?


    1. Hey,
      I’m glad you liked the article. Shit 93 days, that’s nice man!

      I hadn’t had the drive to have sex with a real person the entire four years of college because I was addicted to porn. Since starting nofap and cutting porn out of my life, I now have more attraction to REAL girls and my erections are getting firmer with my girlfriend

      Thanks for sharing the story, porn really fucks with your life. Not only personally but also professionally imo. Glad you’re recovering man.

      and will eventually surpass all my friends who still masturbate to porn… which is pretty much all of my friends…

      That’s as good as a motivation as it gets haha :D

      We still haven’t had sex yet but the progress is making me hopeful that I will eventually become a sexual monster once I limit my ejaculations and stop porn forever

      If you’re on NoFap for 93 days and haven’t ejaculated, you should be hornier than a 16 year old school-kid, no? If erectile malfunction persists – I’d suggest it’s more of a mental block then.

      I sometimes get flaccid once in-a-while during sex. It happens. But the less of a deal you make out of it, the faster it’ll go away.

      It’s the thought of “stay hard, stay hard” that’s the real problem imo. Then again, I don’t know the specifics of your situation.

      Have you done a lot of reading on neuroplasticity Simon?

      That seems like a difficult word. I’m quite fond of difficult words you know.

      It means changing brain patterns right?

      I guess so.

      Probably only the practical applications of it though; meditation, visualization, deep breathing, self-awareness, building habits and so-forth. Nothing specific.

      Take care,

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