“Our brain are battlefields between our nature and our nurture.”
Life = struggle.
Life was never meant to be happy, life was meant to be effective.
We live in a lovy-dovy fairy-tale world where we try to twist our animalistic nature with sugar-coated social narratives.
Sorry to be so dramatic – but it’s quite true.
- “Every boy can find the right girl”
- “Sugar isn’t bad in moderation”
- “Marriage can work easily if there’s just enough love”
- “Follow your passion and everything will fall into place”
It doesn’t really work out that way, you know.
Accept for.. fairy tales maybe..
The world is controlled by natural laws, not cultural make-belief; gravity, evolution, climate change, aging, sexual selection and also; instinct. These are unavoidable no matter how hard you try.
And we’ve tried.. – believe me.
In our society the evolutionary agenda always seems to peek trough the surface layer of the social narrative we’re given – conflict soon followed.
For every drift we’ve made from our “natural way of living” we’ve suffered its respective consequences;
- Over-consumption of trans-fats and sugar (mainly) leading to obesity, diabetes, heart-disease, … . Overindulged nature leads to self-destruction
- Suppression of sexual instinct by cultural “morals” corrupt our behavior leading to stoning (in Arabic culture), mutilation of genitals, child abuse in the catholic church, porn addictions, … . Suppressed nature manifests itself in darker ways.
- Advent of agriculture made private property possible and we shifted from a egalitarian society to a more capitalistic one.
What parts of culture are actually against human nature and how can we return to our origin? And more importantly; how can we thrive in this world and make ourselves future proof?
You are still an animal – stop pretending you’re not.
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The Origin Of All Problems
“Man can do what he wills but he cannot will what he wills” – Arthur Shopenhauer
The way we are is the result of evolution; ALL the things we want have been planted in our DNA. Whether we like it or not. It’s there for a damn good reason.
Although we can choose what we want to do with our time – our options are limited to fulfilling our basic needs.
And what does every human want?
Survival & procreation.
Access to sex and resources is what everyone is after. It’s what drives most of our behavior and is of primary importance.
Not happiness, not passion, not meaning, not education, not love …
Sex & money
It’s only until these needs become suppressed or overindulged that we get a real problem.
So..
How are we doing?
By becoming the most dominant species on this planet years ago we’ve practically guaranteed indefinite survival. At least in the more developed countries it’s like this.
- You don’t have to go out hunting for your food daily
- You don’t have to sleep on the streets anymore
- Sex is something different – although we’ve found other ways to satisfy those needs (masturbation to free porn mainly)
Fact: Porn statistics are trough the roof.
Life purpose completed, right?
Our instincts no longer have a clue what we’re supposed to do and therefore we’re just making up our own direction by filling up our time and finding our own meaning.
Most can’t handle this and fall into a black hole without direction. A situation Viktor Frankl coined “The Existential Depression“.
The main cause for this existential depression is that we’re going trough the fastest period of progression growth in human history ever.
EVER
Technology is going crazy, population is expanding at an enormous rate whilst fossil fuels can barely keep up our throwaway society.
Times are changing fast.
The main cause?
The start of agriculture
Since the agricultural revolution has arisen we’ve shifted from a egalitarian system of culturally imposed sharing to one of private property.
Everything changed.
Land could now be possessed, owned, and passed down the generations. Food that had been hunted and gathered now had to be sowed, tended, harvested, stored, defended, bought, and sold. Fences, walls, and irrigation systems had to be built and reinforced; armies to defend it all had to be raised, fed, and controlled. Because of private property, for the first time in the history of our species, paternity became a crucial concern
With agriculture, virtually everything changed: the nature of status and power, social and family structures, how humans interacted with the natural world, the gods they worshiped, the likelihood and nature of warfare between groups, quality of life, longevity and the rules governing sexuality – Christopher Ryan & Cacilda Jetha
The term “prehistoric communism” definitely applies.
The Result?
Life became a struggle for resources & sex.
A struggle for the right to procreate and survive. As our population density grows and resources grow scarcer the world gets more competitive by the day.
In small groups egalitarianism is the best way to reduce risk by equally distributing resources and building strong social bonds.
Yet – in larger groups selfishness is harder to control and leads to a “free-rider”-effect
Meaning they take resources from the communal pile – but don’t provide any back.
“What allows these chain-linked tragedies is the absence of local, personal shame. We ignore the fine-grain contours of life in small-scale communities where nobody “could have escaped public scrutiny and judgment,” in Rousseau’s words.
These tragedies become inevitable only when the group size exceeds our species’ capacity for keeping track of one another, a point that’s come to be known as Dunbar’s number“
We become more selfish/corrupted as group-size increases and resources get scarcer as there aren’t social consequences for free-riding.
With rising competition we’ve tried our best to use, suppress, indulge and control these needs throughout history – leading to all kinds of modern problems.
Human desire is not to be suppressed nor indulged but controlled
The Symptoms
We’ve suffered consequences that can be seen in all areas of our life.
Relationships
Relationships shifted from an egalitarian perspective where sex was mutually shared (Bonobo model) to one of private property. Women shifted from a high-status role in the tribe to another “possession” for the man to own besides his livestock and lands.
Unequal access to resources lead to a reproductive trade-off. The unspoken contract of status & wealth provided by the men for sexual fidelity by the women arose.
Power-struggles, income inequality and confused gender roles galore
The “paradox” of traditional gender roles is, in this sense, a product of the opposition between what our genes and past culture dispose us to do and what our present culture now prescribes.
The same traditional gender roles that facilitate men’s and
women’s attraction to each other may also, in the context of egalitarian social ideals, impede their ability to communicate and lead to dissatisfaction in their relationships. – William Ickes
Additionally; monogamy started to become the cultural norm – imposed by religion.
Religious extremism infected behavior to control our sexual instincts throughout history- resulting (still up to this day) in divorce, mutilation, oppression, child abuse, corruption, adultery and whatnot.
“About 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher.” – American Psychological Association
Not to say how many couples stay together for financial security, children, convenience and whatnot. How many are actually “happy”?
- Happily-ever-after?
- You just need enough “love”?
- …
Against our nature is what I’d say.
Here’s another mess;
Health
With agriculture came more carbohydrates; wheat, cane, squash & mainly sugar.
Probably the worst thing you can eat these days. Especially in the form of high fructose corn syrop.
Yes – It’s a cost-effective way to feed a lot of people but humans were not designed for such a diet. Our bodies can’t operate on such abundance of carbs.
Multinationals (who stopped caring about your health a looooong time ago) play into your natural desire for high-fat and high-sugary foods. So they manufacture and modify the desired ingredients to get the most dopamine-inducing foods possible.
Irresistible treats for our biological nature – addictive to a great extent.
Which destroys your brain and makes other, healthier foods taste like cardboard.
And off course;
Money
“Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?”
Private property meant we now had resources to protect. Off-course you couldn’t keep everything to yourself (environment, theft, decay, …) and therefore we made houses where our resources were “safely” kept in the form of money.
Banks.
Leading to a concentration of power without real social control/scrutiny in large groups.
What did I say about overindulged nature again?
Oh yes..
Moral corruption;
Solution?
I can’t really criticize the world without providing an alternative – can I?
Yes.
Yes I can – But I’ll try anyway;
I believe a more capitalistic system is necessary as population has simply grown too large. Greater groups leads to an uncontrolled “free-rider” effect where people take resources at the expense of others – leading to an immoral downward spiral of power struggles.
Here’s some more questions that need answering;
- Are there enough resources for everyone? I don’t know
- Can we get more social control to monitor free-riding? Maybe
- Do we need global population control & resource management? Definitely
Now, for the best part; How can you – considering these trends – make yourself future proof ?
Health
Difficulty Level: Simple
- Gradually switch to paleo-diet/ketogenic diet. Here’s what you can eat
- Do some weight-training 3/4 times per week
Social
Difficulty Level: Might Hurt/Be Uncomfortable
Friends
- Become a more confident, high-status man trough self-development
- Look your best & have a sorted out lifestyle (money, hobbies, friends, ..)
- Get better social skills (Read; How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie)
- Make small circles of reciprocal kindness with close friends (practice egalitarianism in your own “select group”
Dating
- Don’t get married, ever– lifelong monogamy is against human nature and will come back later to bite you in the ass. Coolidge-effect
- Read “Models” by Mark Manson – Seriously. Best book on dating EVER
- Don’t watch porn – it screws up your brain. Use the building arousal to “hunt” for real women. Approach.
- Masturbation (dry orgasms preferably) and prostitution are still better than porn.
Note; I’m wondering what indefinite access to sex would do for our society in regards to conflict, rape, theft, adultery, violence & murder. I’d think we’d be a lot more relaxed if people weren’t so sexually deprived.
Money
Difficulty Level: Dragging-your-balls-trough-a-desert-of-broken-glass-difficult
This might be the trickiest part.. . But from what I’ve learned so far, this is my best guess;
Being able to do what others cannot is what makes you valuable.
Anyone can sell shoes, anyone can run behind a dumpster truck, anyone can sell fast-food. But not everyone knows how to build a house, lay electrical wiring or perform an open-heart-surgery.
The more difficult and in-demand your skills are – the higher your pay-grade will rise.
For illustrative purposes I’ve made this fancy info-graphic;
This means that the barrier of entry for competitors will be high (less competition) and you work in a field where your skills are highly valued.
So;
- Learn difficult, high-in demand skills
- Additionally, building on strength gives you an “edge” on others.
- Combine these in an entrepreneurial venture. (Everyone will need to be an entrepreneur soon)
Essence
The world isn’t always sunshine and rainbows like our culture wants to make you believe.
Although humans are by nature altruistic, the world is getting more and more competitive. Overpopulation caused by agriculture makes humanity go head-forth towards an Malthusian catastrophe.
Don’t be the sucker who’s getting ill-treated because he’s unaware of the disguised interests of people around you. No human can completely resist their nature for sex and resources.
It doesn’t mean you have to become distrustful towards everybody just know to stay alert when it comes to money, relationships and health. Not everyone has your best interests at heart.
Life has become a competitive game – learn to play it to your best abilities.
So make good long-term choices in each area.
Passion is spewed around as being the holy grail of life (especially in self development circles) meaning we”ll slide across the rainbow happily ever after. But the point is simply this: If you aren’t highly skilled at a in-demand task there’s chances you won’t EVER be able to make a lot of money from it.
Marriage is supposed to be effortless and the “ideal” model for love – yet it goes against your polygamous nature. Lifelong monogamy is a culturally imposed hoax.
Carb are bad – Eat more fats.
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Thanks for reading my post and congrats on getting this far! If you have any more thoughts or questions on this post feel free to leave them in the comment section below.
Take care & Stay Strong
– Simon
PS: This post might be a bit controversial – keep feedback constructive ;)
PPS: Cool quora discussion
Simon, I think you have a mindset problem: “Dragging-your-balls-trough-a-desert-of-broken-glass-difficult.”
This attitude stinks and makes your chances to get money, hmm, dybtdobg difficult.
Making money is easy. Ask Buffet ;)
I started from level 0 two years ago. Last year I made about 11% of my traditional (read JOB) income. This year, after 4 months, it’s already more. I’m paid for what I love doing.
But I choose the “creative” endeavor and in this realm your best gues reads as: “Being able to BE what others cannot is what makes you valuable.” And that’s easy. We are all unique.
Hey Michal, I agree the mindset could be the limiting factor. I wouldn’t call myself an expert on that topic yet until I’ve build up enough references.
I’m still trying out different things by building on the best information that’s available at this time.
You’re doing the kindle books right? :) Glad to see you’ve found some work you really enjoy, I’ve read some of your progress journals and your persistence is really nice!
Doesn’t being come from doing?
Funny, funny, you’ve instanced “malthusian catastrope.” I was just about talking about it.
Overpopulation is a myth. I have a paper of American professor, Julian L. Simon from 1984. He instanced a few research, but I don’t care about science very much. I care about reality.
Malthus and his folowers are dumb asses. He predicted the cathastrophe in 1798, when population was under 1 billion. Now it’s 7 times bigger and the lifestyle we enjoy is incomparable with his wildest dreams.
Simon’s paper argued that the more people is in the world the better for us. And I haven’t found a piece of evidence against it. (yes, they were local cathastrophes like Great Famine in Ireland, but they were temporary and local). The last couple of centuries clearly confirms this. 31 years since his paper was published confirms that even stronger. The more people on Earth, the better we are.
A quote from his conclusion:
“Progress is limited largelyby the availability of trained workers. And minds only arrive in company with bodies.”
BTW, I’ve checked US and UK data about marriages before posting my comment. Data clearly indicate that the longer the marriage, the more stable it is.
Thanks for your input Michal – always like to hear different views.
Would love a copy of that article if you can spare one, this is a cool topic.
“I don’t care about science very much. I care about reality”
That makes two of us. However, science is “our best guess” backed up by (some) proof.
“The more people on Earth, the better we are”
I seriously doubt that.
The more people there are, the more food we need, the more space we occupy, the more resources and consumer goods we wish to have and the more development has to take place.
There’s no infinite growth on a finite planet.
Whether we have reached the point of overpopulation – we can’t be sure on that. But I do believe overpopulation IS a serious issue. Maybe Malthus was wrong about the time frame in which it would happen but it will at some point unless we look into resource management and population control (But I also believe we’re never going to make those sacrifices)
“And I haven’t found a piece of evidence against it.”
Have you looked for some dis-confirming evidence?
Sex, marriage (and family)
Simon, as a bright guy you seem to contradict yourself in this area, like your judgment is dimmed (by sexual fantasies? ;) )
You’ve concluded yourself that masturbation is the easiest way out. Theoretically it’s the ideal solution. You can have as much “sex” with yourself as you wish. No deprivation at all. In fact modern psychologist started preaching this as a dogma since the beginning of 20th century. As you’ve said porn statistics are trough the roof. Everybody should be happy then. Or at least happiness statistics should be trough the roof.
Are they?
Sex is not about pleasure only. It’s about intimacy; it’s just one among more important tools of forming a lasting relationship.
Polygamy is a cultural norm in Islam. Does it make Muslims more relaxed or enlightened? A rhetorical question.
A few more arguments about why your perspective on sex is utopian. Let’s assume a Bonobo model for humans. You also postulate for global population control. We learned to somehow control our fertility in 20th century. If people were like bonobos every woman would give birth about every year. Now, that’s the overpopulation! It works different for bonobos, but you can’t cheat the biology, humans are different in this aspect.
A different matter is kids raising. As you mentioned, we become more selfish/ corrupted. If man is not “assigned” to the family and kids, why should he care about raising them? All in all sex and money is everything he desires, isn’t it? If not the institution of marriage women would be sentenced to raising kids alone. That’s what happens when you try to dismantle an existing social order. I’ve read many former feminists testimonials that their regret their idiotic ideas of “free” women. In the end they had to take care about their kids alone and their “oppressors” had easy life.
Marriage is not a hoax. You arguments are really poor here. I can as well say:
“About 50 to 60 percent of married couples in the United States stay married. The marriage stability rate increases with every passing year of marriage. Not to say how many couples divorce out of trivial matters without any attempt to sustain their marriage.
How many of divorced are actually happy?”
All those problems stems from your twisted view on our species. We are NOT animals. Marriage is NOT an evil scheme to enslave people. It’s the place for man and woman to discover their differences and learn to respect and live with them. It’s the real place for cultivating social skills. If you can’t stand just one man/ woman, how can you stand many of them? Humanity equals to interdependence. We cannot learn how to depend on others and how become dependable being alone and cultivating masturbation.
The harmonious social life is not just about fulfilling your desires. We need both man and woman in the marriage. Kids raised without father are at disadvantaged position – lower self-esteem, higher crime rates and so on and so forth.
Maybe my father would have been more fulfilled if he just fathered me and have gone away. But I was raised to a healthy and useful member of society exactly because he was “imprisoned” in the marriage. He paid the price so I could benefit. That’s interdependence.
After re-reading this post I’ve noticed my stances are pretty radical. I might reconsider in the future. Anyway, here’s some more thoughts;
You’ve concluded yourself that masturbation is the easiest way out. Theoretically it’s the ideal solution. You can have as much “sex” with yourself as you wish. No deprivation at all.
I don’t agree it’s the ideal solution. Like you said; sex is not about pleasure only – you still deprive yourself of intimacy if you masturbate to porn. The ideal solution is a lot of sex.
Polygamy is a cultural norm in Islam. Does it make Muslims more relaxed or enlightened?
Polygyny*, that’s one sided and plenty suppressed – Muslim culture is not comparable to the bonobo’s free-flowing sexuality. It suppresses sexuality in many other ways.
If people were like bonobos every woman would give birth about every year.
Condoms/contraceptives. That’s the thing – sex isn’t about reproduction for us. It’s about maintaining strong social bonds/group cohesion and lowering tension/conflict.
Population control is unnatural – I realize this. But otherwise nature will do it for us trough a malthusian catastrope
The marriage stability rate increases with every passing year of marriage.
Not to say how many couples divorce out of trivial matters without any attempt to sustain their marriage.
Do you have proof to back those statements up?
*edit: I actually don’t have evidence for my “how many couples stay together for financial security, children, convenience and whatnot. How many are actually “happy”?” besides anecdotal evidence/observations
Good point.
Marriage is NOT an evil scheme to enslave people. It’s the place for man and woman to discover their differences and learn to respect and live with them.
If man is not “assigned” to the family and kids, why should he care about raising them? Kids raised without a father are at disadvantaged position – lower self-esteem, higher crime rates and so on and so forth.
Agreed on the disadvantaged position and children being better off with two parents.
I never said marriage couldn’t be done – just maybe not in the way we think about traditional marriage.
I stated that culture assumes that marriage is effortless and the “ideal” model for love/raising a family – yet it goes against your polygamous nature. Lifelong monogamy is a culturally imposed hoax.
I also don’t believe marriage has a monopoly on raising healthy children. There’s other (better?) configurations that are more beneficial for both sides (open relationships/polygamy mainly)
I don’t have all the answers – I’m heavily experimenting still.
“Humanity equals to interdependence”
I must disagree on this statement. Humanity used to be about egalitarianism (and is still deeply rooted in our nature) But as our population density grows and resources grow scarcer the world gets more competitive and “Rational Egotistic“.
I believe in making your own “little tribes” of reciprocal kindness (friends, family, …) Not whole of humanity. Your highest moral purpose should be your own happiness and not to self-sacrifice for others. It’s the only rational/sane way to live imo.
I almost totally disagree, but have no time to crush you with criticism at the moment.
Lucky you. But beware, I’ll be back with arguments ;)
Looking forward to it :)
OK, I’ll deal with it in chunks, the scope is too wide to do it at one time.
First: “You are still an animal”
Nice pic of bonobo. But the pic of our grangrandma is from 2.5 millions of years ago.
We’ve changed.
You have a need pyramid of Maslow on this blog. I’m sure like heck, it’s a bit different than bonobo’s.
I think you mistakes causes and effects.
Nowadays life is NOT a struggle for sex and resources. You nailed it at the beginning. We had our animal urges satisfied.
When you strive to get the latest iPhone you don’t struggle for “resources” at all. You want glory, meaning, prestige etc.
“Nice pic of bonobo. But the pic of our grangrandma is from 2.5 millions of years ago.We’ve changed.”
We are still very closely related to these animals. We differ genetically from them by about 1,6%. Studying their behavior helps to decode human behavior.
Physically we might differ greatly (and then still), but I believe we share many more similarities than we differ from them.
Nowadays life is NOT a struggle for sex and resources.
I wasn’t addressing the absolute case of competition in our society. I was simply sketching contrast between how our more egalitarian ancestors lived before agriculture compared to after it.
We’ve become more competitive post-agriculture. (more struggle)
This article is a slippery subject with a lot of alternating options nevertheless. :)
Great article Simon! Let me share a few thoughts with you and your readers:
Women obey the laws of hypergamy, always going for the best they can get. Unfortunately this system has led to an “inflation” of sorts as weak, desperate men shower even ugly women with gifts attention in the hopes of getting some. Now even fat chicks think they deserve an attractive man with money. And you know what? They’ll get it too, because they are the ones controlling the market. Only a country of strong men can say “no” and put a stop to this.
Expanding on this. The “herbivore men” of Japan are not simply opting out of sex. For a long time Japan has been the technological powerhouse of the world with an average wage above that of the west. Japanese women have come to expect more, and now that they aren’t doing as well as before(for several different reasons), the young men are not turning out as successful as their fathers. This leads to rejection by local women who feel entitled to more. What have Japanese men done in response? The refuse to play the game. They ignore women completely and deprive themselves of a sex life, hoping their solidarity will bring those bitches back to reality. This is what strong men do. They refuse to play by other peoples rules. Something to be learned from this but our culture of over indulgence has to be overcome before it can ever happen.
I also think competition is normal and “healthy” for a species. Whites are plagued by allergies, strange conditions, and all manner of genetic problems that would be eliminated quickly in a more hostile environment. Now look at blacks, who came to our watered down society more recently. They are more durable in just about every way, more sexually aggressive(IE competitive) and have a lot fewer inherited genetic issues plaguing them. Competition for resources and mating rights is simply a way for nature to keep a species “clean and mean.” For a more recent example, look at the chinese people before and after the japanese invasion as well as the reign of Mao. They turned super gangster and pragmatic even in the face of communism because those are the genes that survived those horrible times. It’s an ugly truth, but it just can’t be glazed over.
Hey Chris,
Thanks for the expansive comment man! :) Love interaction.
I don’t necessary agree with everything you’ve said – everyone has his own opinion. Here’s some of my thoughts;
“Unfortunately this system has led to an “inflation” of sorts”
The value of sex has – indeed – culturally inflated a great deal since agriculture. Our society (remnants of religious bs mainly) limits the supply of sex by indoctrinating women that good girls don’t enjoy/have sex or at least not much.
On the other hand it increases the demand by provoking ads, media, porno, … .
Sex is essential and at the same level as water, food, sleep, shelter, … . But it shouldn’t be such a big deal overall.
It’s only until it becomes unavailable that it becomes a problem. Scarcity creates frustration and other dysfunctional behavior.
“They ignore women completely and deprive themselves of a sex life, hoping their solidarity will bring those bitches back to reality. This is what strong men do.”
Don’t agree on that. Like I said; Human desire is not to be suppressed nor indulged but controlled. The Japanese men manifest their suppressed sexual nature in much darker ways. Think fleshlights, tentacle porn, manga porn, sex-robots and what-have you.
As women have become of equal economic status in our knowledge economy – we’ve created a conflict between gender roles
Confused men aren’t taking control of their life (low-status) since their natural role of provider and protector has faded away.
Women have become increasingly self-reliant and independent which has obscured the traditional gender roles and has led to frictious relationships between men and women.
Women can’t seem to find a “real man” and man can’t find “feminine” women.
“I also think competition is normal and “healthy” for a species.”
In large populations – I agree.
However – until the species becomes overpopulated, egalitarianism is the best way to reduce risk by equally distributing resources and building strong social bonds.
Why compete if there’s nothing to compete over eh?
There’s enough sperm competition in humans to make sure the strongest genes get passed into the future.
Yes I agree that repressed sexuality shows itself in dark ways. We see that in porn in general. You know it’s funny. As a teenager I was into all the most hardcore of the hardcore of porn for the shock value. Now that I’m more open in my day to day life, I only appreciate amateur stuff for authenticity. Even then I feel like some unnatural creature for peering in on others sex and toying with myself. So silly.
This is indeed a direct result of the great move away from sex in japan. And if you want to talk about overcrowded, there’s no better example. (Just before the tsunami in recent history, Japan had made preparations to attack the shores of china, with acquiring land as the sole motivation. Yes these motherfuckers are that crazy). This might sound radical, but I believe that Japan is the next step for the western world. And we won’t be saying that poor guys are opting out when the reality is they just can’t play in this inflated market. Not that real men aren’t already in short supply anyways.
It’s scary to think that women are equal in earning potential to men. This isn’t because of a bruised male ego, but because of knowledge of hypergamy. A woman will never be satisfied with a man that doesn’t make more than them. Typically much more. This confusing of roles will leave both parties unhappy, confused, and unsatisfied. Feminism will be the death of the western world, and it’s happening right in front of us.
If I’m going to be real. What I want(and will probably never get) in a woman is the supporting role. Take care of my needs and keep me sharp while I move forward and be ambitious.That isn’t natural either but i might as well be selfish in a broken world.
Oh I just noticed, you made a reference to sexual transmutation. I’m a strong believe in this myself. My rule is a little bit of sex is good. Everything else is bad.
“they just can’t play in this inflated market”
interesting statement. I haven’t researched much on Japanese culture so can’t really form a solid opinion on that topic.
confusing of gender roles will leave both parties unhappy, confused, and unsatisfied.
I agree on this – However; women are attracted to high status men which they judge on their behavior. It’s partly based on having high status or the potential to become high status. I don’t know to what degree we can reduce conflicting gender roles by mere communication but from what I’ve read – we as a species are highly adaptive when it comes to mate choice in a changing culture.
We won’t stop having sex – it’s just going to require more confident men & better communication/openness IMO. (Cool read on gender roles)
If I’m going to be real. What I want(and will probably never get) in a woman is the supporting role.
I believe there are still women out there who will submit – but only to a man who knows what he is doing with his life and can make her feel safe and secure. That type of polarity (submissive >< dominant) is still a large part of our sexuality.
Hence the popularity of books like fifty shades.
Oh I just noticed, you made a reference to sexual transmutation. I’m a strong believe in this myself. My rule is a little bit of sex is good. Everything else is bad.
My rule: (multiple) dry orgasms are good, all the rest is bad :) Keep your seed/energy and only permit yourself to ejaculate once in a blue moon. héhé
All sounds good, bt without any rules or guidelines we will be like the animal kingdom. I know you wud say we are all human animals, bt w/o experience and knowledge we cannot enjoy this world. As they say we live every day bt die only once, so am good sofar and no regrets as to live an enlightened life til now. Tks for the good artocle anyway,sounds interesting..
Hey Someone,
Thanks man!
Guidelines are definitely necessary – it stops us from plunging into total chaos.
I believe morality is a cognitive victory on our animalistic nature. The societal glue that holds us together.
Yet – I’m not so sure it’s going to stay together as the world grows more competitive.
Get the best life out of what you’re given – totally agree with that!
Take care,
Interesting perspective. Personally we DO have enough resources. People are so negative. We could technically fit everybody in Texas if Texas was as dense as NYC. There’s plenty for everyone.
Who cares if I don’t pick my desires. I still desire them, that’s what matters. I desire beautiful women, big muscles, great wealth and a cheerful attitude (I already have this one). I will puruse these till I die. Getting upset that I am an animal is a waste of time. I know that already.
“Animalisitic” nature has a negative connotation even though it means nothing negative.
These social narratives are simply part of our soft, lovey dovey “mallimian” nature. Who cares?
Yeah, not every guy will get laid. life is unfair. who cares?
Yeah sex and money is my life purpose. I already know that. I’m not shocked nor against that. if you think thks is something “shocking” you are probably telling some people this, like your mom and she is “shocked”. No, what she is shocked about is the harsh negative attitude, which is unnessary. I’m perfectly happy being an animal who craves sex and money, like you said there is nothing we can do about it. Might as well embrace it!
Our selfish nature may be heightened by today’s society, but it was there from evolution. Why be upset about that? You can’t change that.
This article seemed to have a negative vibe, for no real reason. Yes, you can break down everything into a robotic a analysis, but don’t be suprised by what you find. After all, we are just killing and fucking machines. Nothing shocking about that. That’s called life.
Hey Alex,
“Interesting perspective.”
Thanks! :)
“Are there enough resources for everyone?”
“We could technically fit everybody in Texas if Texas was as dense as NYC. There’s plenty for everyone.”
I wasn’t sure about this answer so I left that open. Technically we could – but what about the infrastructure needed? Schooling, roads, legal, hospitals, housing, farmland, … . I’m not convinced.
Care to cite a study/article/research?
“This article seemed to have a negative vibe,”
That wasn’t my intended result.
I’ve written this article to clarify the duality between our nature and our nurture. To explain why and how they collide on the fields of health, social relationships and wealth. By knowing our nature we can make better choices for the future by adapting ourselves to the changing environment.
Most do not see these opposing forces – leading into preventable problems as they get older. Preventing problems is what this article is about.
“Our selfish nature may be heightened by today’s society, but it was there from evolution”
Not pre-agriculture from what I’ve studied so far.
Selfish genes (Dawkins) only thrive & replicate in more competitive environments (like we live in now). Which wasn’t the case before “private property” became a thing. We used to be an egalitarian specie where everything – from sex & food to shelter & paternity – was shared amongst everyone.
One big happy orgy.
“Life is unfair. who cares?”
I don’t think it leaves anyone untouched – we just learn to deal with it better over time.
To some extend it was an eye-opener for me lately. You might be more familiar with the way the world works than I was – before this article.
In dealing with this situation – I try to make an analogy with this image;
“Animalisitic” nature has a negative connotation even though it means nothing negative.”
Agreed. There’s nothing wrong with being an animal – Likewise I chase tail, muscle & money ;)
Take care man,